Denny Kids 10, 8, 5, 1

Three years ago, I posted an update on each boy. I LOVE reading it. So I'm thinking it's time for another list of what makes these kiddos so fun right now.

Right now being the operative words. I'm not trying to label them early or set their personalities in stone -- they are still heavily influenced by developmental stage, birth order, current teachers, latest books read, etc. I'll always remember that I spent Noah's first year thinking I could sum up his personality with the word "content." Which is now HILARIOUS. But seriously, it's precisely because they change so fast that I want a snapshot of how they are TODAY.

Isaac first, since he's never first, poor guy...

ISAAC (5, pre-K)

A few favorites...
books: You Can Count on Monsters (counting #fathersson), Ballpark Mysteries (audio)
movie: Star Wars #evergreen
video game: Minecraft
toys: legos, action figures
mispronunciation: "legular" for regular
extracurricular: baseball or basketball
Disney ride: Kali river rapids
cereal: Raisin Bran Crunch
bed: sleeping bag #lowmaintenance
music: TobyMac, The Greatest Showman
doppleganger: Papa Denny
professional aspirations: cowboy, sailor, doctor, coach

- Purposeful. He speaks clearly and with purpose, because: boy #3. How ya gonna get heard?? It's possible he'll be our type-A child, as he takes his pursuits very seriously, one of which is becoming his oldest brother. (Not a giant leap: Noah, meet your mini-me.) I love seeing how much Isaac wants to practice sports, solve puzzles, and participate in everything. Once he learns how to read this year, I think he'll leap forward and never look back.  

- Careful. He is still my most sensitive to darkness, literal and figurative. He uses a noise machine at night, audio books during rest time, and doesn't watch all the movies his brothers do. I'm proud to see him increasingly able to set boundaries for himself, and it's good to see his aspirational nature pushing him to be brave. #kindergartenready
- Christian! For months, Isaac had been asking about Christianity and acutely aware that he had not chosen it for himself. Then the week before Easter, Isaac's close friend asked our family at the dinner table if we're Christians, and Isaac piped up with "I'm not!" Until Good Friday, when he leaned over to me during the Stations of the Cross mass at St. Louis' Cathedral Basilica and said, "I asked Jesus into my heart." #puddle And as has been true with each of my boys, ever since, he has shown an excitement about Jesus and joyful desire to learn about him that is inspiring. Praise God.

AARON

books: Harry Potter 1-4, Encyclopedia Brown
character: Ron Weasley
toys: swords
mispronunciation: "gwit" for grit
food: jelly
extracurricular: martial arts
Disney ride: Everest, Haunted Mansion
cereal: frosted fruity mini-wheats
bedfellows: ALL the blankets & stuffed animals #nest
music: Schoolhouse Rock
nemesis: homework
doppleganger: Papa Stewart
professional aspirations: scientist, comedian

- Exhuberant. Aaron makes "breakfast" for me, writes cards to family, says thank you to the clerk at the register of any store, and donates coins at church. He is also the most passionate about all things British from the Hobbit, HP, Narnia, and Paddington to "afternoon tea" and marmalade. Lately he's been begging to go on our next trip to London. #bestillmyheart He will also say, "You're the best mom ever. Well, maybe not the best... I mean there are other good moms... but you're the best mom I've met here in my lifetime." Which brings me to...

- Honest. Aaron is meticulous about telling the truth, though just this week he said something about, "Well, I could have not told you that..." #gettintoosmart But he's still a committed rule follower, to the point that he feels real distress if he sees others crossing the line. It can be socially disastrous, but you gotta love the strength of his moral compass. At the same time, I love the honesty of his faith. Sunday, he asked a series of questions about whether everyone can go to heaven, so we walked through Romans 9 on the spot. I live for convos like this and love his inquiring mind.

- Prayer. He is the first volunteer to pray on any occasion, and always includes the following (which he developed organically during 1st grade): "Thank you for this day, thank you for my family--including Katherine, and all our relatives. Help me to get to sleep well, help me to have no nightmares. Help everything to be well in my control and not in my control, and stuff like that, if you know what I mean. And if I didn't say it, help it to go well."
And prayer is key right now, as we're 2 for 2 finding 2nd grade to be a tough year, with its dawning awareness of social issues, flaring emotions, and personal identity formation. Aaron is in the thick of it, and often needs reminders that he is a masterpiece from God and a gift to our family -- both absolute truths.

NOAH
books: Wingfeather Saga
movie: Avatar
video game: NBA2K
toys: action figures
extracurricular: basketball
Disney ride: Avatar Flights of Passage
cereal: Rice Krispies
music: Lecrae, NF
celebrity: Damian Lilliard
teams: Blazers, Patriots, Cubs, Reds
nemesis: perfectionism
doppleganger: Daddy & Uncle John
professional aspirations: NBA, sports business

- Funny. I LOVE Noah's playful side that still giggles at my jokes and asks Alexa goofy questions. He's silly with Katherine, writes the funniest little comics (sometimes on the church bulletin, about the sermon), and his brothers are always asking him to tell them stories (because his stories are hilarious). He recently gave me a "top secret" dossier with several pages of legalese and memos on how we were going to convert Josh into a Blazers fan. If someday he's a lawyer, he'll be the coolest lawyer out there. 

- Teachable. We have really seen Noah blossom in the past year, becoming more mature, thoughtful, and positive. Maybe most of all, I've been amazed how receptive and responsive he has been to suggestions from us, whether on academic, social, or...athletic fronts. While we never barred him from playing football someday, with time (and encouragement), he has gradually shifted his interest to almost every other sport, most recently soccer and golf. We are elated -- and he seems happier than ever. Except during and after his own team's losses. #lifelessons
- Responsible. This is most obvious in how Noah owns his schoolwork (homework, grades, projects) so that I never have to be involved. It's bliss. What's new? 1. He cares about his grades. 2. I can leave him home alone for short periods. 3. He's responsive when I ask him to do chores (or re-do chores). 4. He came home from camp asking to do a  Bible study together. #thanksDeerRun All of these are pretty life-changing. And reinforce that I have experienced no greater miracle than watching my children grow into themselves.

KATHERINE

books: The Foot Book, Usborne's Trucks, Gallop

extracurricular: playground slides

food: pizza, fruit

cereal: Life

toys: shoes, baby dolls, purses

fashion: bling

bedfellows: thumb only - she throws everything out of her crib
fear: Mommy leaving, teeth coming

doppleganger: Mommy

- Moving. Katherine rarely sits still. She wouldn't sit through a board book until she turned 2, and she still doesn't have any interest in TV/movies. We took the ergo and stroller to Disney and then she walked everywhere. Which also explains her aversion to hours in the carseat. Some of this has to be in her DNA, but even typing this, it occurs to me that I am always on the go, only sitting when she's asleep. So there's that...
- Independent. I'll never forget the first time I noticed Katherine (18mo) standing at her high chair, bib in one hand, baby food in the other, asking to eat. This girl came prepared, even before she could speak. I've also noticed her lining up her babydolls and giving each their own babyfood. Isn't it just like a woman to get dinner for everyone? AND clean up. She'll go get the towel to wipe up her spilled milk, and then drop a little more just for the fun of cleaning it up. But it's not just in the culinary department: Yesterday she brought me earbuds and plugged them into my laptop. She (unsuccessfully) insists on sitting in Isaac's (car)seat, and she's grabs her socks, shoes, purse, drink, and sunglasses at the slightest indication of an outing. This trait is immensely helpful in a 4th child, and we're hoping to capitalize on it in the potty-training dept ASAP. We're just waiting on one more thing: words. She understands most of what we say, but it's not mutual yet. #comeonbaby #talktome
- Female. I am shocked how different it feels parenting Katherine vs. her brothers. She is so much busier, has a shorter attention span, more initiative, fewer words, and less cuddling -- all the reverse of my expectations. However, she adores shoes, purses, baby dolls, and glitter, though they're outnumbered by legos and action figures 100:1 in our house. She even picks the princess plates from among the Thomas, Elmo, and Star Wars options in the drawer. She's momma's girl right now (💘) but she also has her brothers and Daddy wrapped around her pudgy little fingers. Basically, I am thankful every day that God gave us this best. surprise. ever.

Do Your Kids Eat It?

To his credit, he'd just eaten a barf-flavored jelly
bean, but this was not the first time I've seen
that face. ;)

Is there a more loaded subject than what your children eat? It's like the third rail of parenting, and it starts from the very beginning... 

But not here, today. I'm going to focus on what my 9, 7, 4, and 1-year-old kids eat. Or at least, how we've approached food with them. Because now that we have a few years and a few different palettes in our nest, I feel like there are some things I would've liked to know...8 years ago. 

The point here is not to make anyone feel bad. If what you're doing works for your family, carry on! Bravo! My goal here is really to speak to the many parents who honestly don't know how to teach their kids to eat well and are looking for help. I was one of them. It's not something we get any training for. And we're generally thrown into it when we're most fatigued and vulnerable (parenting babies & toddlers).

If dinnertime is a nightmare for you, I want this post to be an encouragement that it does not have to be that way. Instituting a new approach can be painful and make life harder for a season, but it is possible (not guaranteed, but possible) to reap years of benefits once you've trained your kids to eat a wide variety of foods and dinnertime is not full of critiques or complaints.

And despite the sensitivity on this subject, I'm going to mostly stick with a few broad generalizations to keep it simple. Tired parents ain't got no time for essays...

...Unless they're desperate or looking for serious change, in which case a book can be helpful. If you're looking for a great AND FUN read that inspired much of our approach, I highly recommend Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman (a memoir about raising her babies in Paris). A good companion would be Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline. Or for a little more info on what we're eating at dinner, visit My Home Cookin'. 

Finally, I posted our mealtime approach 6 years ago when we were still in the throws of creating one. I'd say it is still all true. I cannot say this would work for everyone; I can only say it has worked for us. But I'll add that it has gotten easier over time, because once the older kids were trained, the younger ones tend to follow their lead and need fewer reminders (tho still enough to drive us slightly crazy). But back to the bullet points...

I'm pretty sure the baby was already done and hanging
under the table at this point, but the rest of us were
having fun eating a very Americanized British afternoon
tea and discussing our future meals with royalty.

Basic Tenets for Dinnertime

• Yes, my kids generally eat the dinners I make. Years of sitting down at the table together with only one option in front of them will do that.

• I only make one dinner. I might make half without nuts or one salad without raisins if I know of a particular aversion, but I don't make any guarantees, and I don't make separate meals for different people. One is hard enough.

• The kitchen is closed after dinner. If they didn't eat dinner, or didn't get enough, they will really enjoy breakfast! Toddlers are famous for eating nothing at some meals and their weight at others. They will not starve. Unless they have some rare illness, the body's instinct is to fuel itself. They are getting the calories somewhere in their week. You don't have to cater to their tastes to get them enough calories. And it won't take them very long to learn that they're hungry at night if they don't eat dinner.

• We have 4 meals a day. They can eat at breakfast, lunch, snack and dinnertime. That's it. I cannot handle constant requests for food in between, and I know it's not healthy for them to fill up on snacks or expect to graze all day. Plus I want them hungry for meals so they will eat them. If snacktime starts infringing on dinner, either we eat dinner at snacktime or skip snack.

• Breakfast and lunch are usually "kid-friendly" cereal, sandwiches, etc. They can stretch their palettes at dinner.

• Each dinner consists of at least 2, usually 3-4 items. They have to try everything (1-2 bites) in order to get more of anything. But they don't have to finish anything.

• Whoever is home for dinner sits down at the table to eat together. This is when we ask about each person's day, discuss a movie or book or current event that caught their interest, pull out a conversation card, or read a story and discuss it (when I can't handle any more silliness). This means it's generally a good time, not a battlefield. Note: I used to worry that it didn't feel like "family dinner" when I just had toddlers and my hubs traveled or worked late. That concern has gone away as my kids have gotten older and more conversational, so we do this whether Daddy is home or not. I also should note it's still pretty chaotic: up/down getting food for the baby, cleaning up spills, refilling drinks, etc but that's all getting better as the kids get older. Finally, I have found that if you can put new foods in a context--especially a fun context--the success rate goes up. My son loves marmalade because we read Paddington while eating it. My kids liked Indian food because it was made by our sweet Indian friends. They had fun with (decaf) tea and cucumber sandwiches because we ate it on china and talked about "afternoon tea" with the Queen. Most days are not this fun, and most foods don't have such an easy story to go with them, but it sure helps when you can find one.

• We only have dessert with company or on special occasions. But when we do, they have to eat a healthy portion of the healthy parts (i.e. meat & veges) in order to get dessert. They still don't HAVE to eat any of it IF they're ok skipping dessert.

• They don't need to tell me if they don't like something. In fact, that's rude. They can say, "___ wasn't my favorite" so the chef can take that into consideration for future meals, but the chef does not need a review. Whining/complaining means they have to sit in the dining room for a period of time.

We've finally reached the stage where they get excited about
going out to eat. It helps when there's Nutella involved...

• It's important to us that they enjoy all kinds of food. For 3 reasons: 1) We love to travel, to eat out, and to explore the world, and that means we want our kids to do so as well. 2) We want them to be appreciative or gracious guests. 3) We want them to have a well-rounded diet with plenty of options to match changes in location, budget, health, etc.

That said, every family has different values/culture. And for good reason. I'm not suggesting everyone has to follow ours - just sharing what has worked for us.

A Few Big Tips for How We Got Here

• For at least a year, maybe 2-3, and still sometimes today, I would serve only the vegetable first. Each person had to eat half (of their very small serving) in order to get the "next course" (usually the protein, sometimes with the starch). It worked wonders. Now I serve it all at once, but they still tend to start with the vege, and no one gags on it. #brainwashed

My oldest really wanted to
eat a raw onion one day when
he was helping me in the kitchen.
THAT didn't last long... ;)

• Now that my kids are older, they either pack their own lunches or eat the school lunch -- which means they eat school lunches almost every day. They get to pick from among a variety of foods (often ones I don't make), but they don't get to put in an order. I think this has actually helped expand their palettes.

• The more the kids help in the kitchen, the more likely they'll eat what they've made. They can dump a bagged salad in a bowl, put fish on a cookie sheet, rinse the grape tomatoes, set the table, and get the drinks. The possibilities just increase as they age.

• Research shows that tasting something multiple times can convert a person from disliking to liking a food. My kids could all tell you this fact, as I've drilled it into them. Just because you don't love it today, doesn't mean you won't tomorrow! This is why I don't automatically remove items from our rotation that they haven't liked before.

• Consistency. Like ALL OF PARENTING it seems (sigh), sticking to the rules you've created for your household is the fastest way to long-lasting peace. The learning curve can seem like FOREVER, but they will eventually stop asking for something they never get. And they're likely to enjoy -- or at least get used to -- something that always happens. No one does this perfectly, and I have to remind myself that God made me their mother with full knowledge of my flaws, but it's a good place to start. 

Well, that's all I can think of for now. I hope some of it is useful to someone! And if you ever want to get a laugh, just come eat dinner with us sometime. You'll see just how much grace we have to sprinkle over all of the above. ;)

Books for Elementary Boys

Last year, I posted lists of books our boys have loved (or not). Looking at it today, I realized I need to update with a new category, since our oldest (3rd grade) has exploded onto the early YA book scene. This has been really fun, but it's also hard to keep him stocked! (Thank you, McKay's and the library!)

If you're looking for books that might appeal to a 2nd- and 3rd-grade boy, these have worked for ours (and they're almost all series, which makes life easier). I should mention that my oldest is not easily scared, so you'll of course have to adapt this list to your own child's personality and tolerance...

Ballpark Mysteries by Kelly
39 Clues by Riordan
Hank Zipzer by Winkler
Gregor the Overlander by Collins
baseball books by Mike Lupica
Hardy Boys by Dixon
Artemis Fowl by Colfer
A Series of Unfortunate Events by Snicket
Inkheart Trilogy by Funke
Peter and the Starcatchers by Barry
Percy Jackson by Riordan
Goosebumps by Stine
Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Kinney
The Wingfeather Saga by Peterson
The Mysterious Benedict Society by Stewart
Carole Marsh Mysteries
Guardians of Ga'Hoole by Lasky
Jedi Academy by Brown
I Survived... by Trashes
Harry Potter by Rowling (we just did 1-4 so far)

Suggestions?

Books for Little Boys

As a committed book worm, I get lots of requests for book recommendations for little boys. And really, I love that question. But rather than re-invent the wheel each time, I realized it might be helpful to post a few lists.

With caveats:
1) I have all boys. These lists may work for girls, too. I can tell you *I* enjoyed them, but I give no guarantees.
2) My oldest is 7.5yrs and has a remarkable attention span and reading comprehension level. I did NOTHING to make this happen. He's always been this way. But it means my impressions of "age-appropriate" may be skewed. I can only tell you from my experience.
3) My second is 5.5yrs and LOVES stories and so even though he struggles in other areas, narrative is one of his greatest passions and strengths.
4) My third is all about Sandra Boynton, so I really only have a sample of 2 at the moment.
5) THIS IS NOT A TO-DO LIST! All you guilt-ridden mamas out there can relax. Your kids do NOT have to read these books to be awesome. Ever. This is not a checklist. It is only meant to be helpful if you're looking for ideas.
6) My boys haven't read these themselves - we've read to them (or played the audio), usually before bed or in the car, and partially because I'd far rather read with them than play cars, legos, ninjas, or football.

I'll list each group in order of the age my boys started liking them... (i.e. youngest to oldest)

Favorite Picture Books
Mostly from Dolly Parton's phenomenal Imagination Library...

Any Sandra Boynton
Any Dr. Seuss
Noah's Crew Came 2 by 2 by MacDonald
Slide-and-Find Trucks by Priddy
Thomas the Tank Engine's Hidden Surprises by Yee
Firefighters to the Rescue by Hamilton
Taking Care of Mama by Modarressi
My Little Train by Ichikawa
Read to Tiger by Fore
Roar of a Snore by Arnold
Toot & Puddle series by Hobby
My Lucky Day by Kasza
The Spiffiest Giant in Town by Donaldson
May I See the King by Daubenspeck
Pretend by Plecas
The Tale of Pip & Squeak by Duke
If I Built a Car (or House) by Van Dusen
Let's Do Nothing! by Fucile
A Year in a Castle by Coombs
Where the Sidewalk Ends by Silverstein
Amelia Bedelia by Parish
The Book With No Pictures by Novak
Betty Bunny by Kaplan
Dino-Football by Wheeler
Pirate Diary: The Journal of Jake Carpenter by Platt
Any Lego Encyclopedias (sigh)

Favorite Chapter Books
We started these when my oldest was getting bored with picture books. My favorites series of junior classics is by Dalmatian Press and sometimes $1/book at Target (I'll put an * by these).

Charlotte's Web by White
Stuart Little by White
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by DiCamillo
The Jungle Book by Kipling*
Treasure Island by Stevenson*
Pinocchio by Collodi*
Doctor Dolittle by Lofting*
101 Dalmatians by Smith
Pippi Longstocking by Lindgren
The Trumpet of the Swan by White
Black Beauty by Davage*
Fantastic Mr. Fox by Dahl
The Tale of Despereaux by DiCamillo
Anne of Green Gables by Montgomery
The Prince and Pauper by Twain
Farmer Boy by Wilder
Hardy Boys by Dixon
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Dahl
Guinness Book of World Records
The Secret Garden by Burnett*
Nancy Drew by Keen (I was surprised to find these trend a little older than Hardy Boys)
Moby Dick by Melville*
White Fang by London*
Call of the Wild by London*
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Verne*
Oliver Twist*
Mary Poppins by Travers
Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH
The Hobbit by Tolkein

Favorite Audio Books
I'm a die-hard audiobook fan because I can "read" while doing housework or driving and I can "read" to the boys when I've lost my voice. I have passed this on to my boys whether they liked it or not. ;) We have many CDs that we play in the car or on a CD-player in the boys' bedroom, or I stream audiobooks from my phone (via our library) to a bluetooth speaker in my kitchen or my car.

Frog & Toad by Lobel
Dr. Seuss Collection (read by Dustin Hoffman, Kelsey Grammar, Billy Crystal, etc)
Curious George by Rey
The Wind in the Willows by Grahame
Frances by Hoban
Paddington by Bond
Henry Huggins by Cleary (read by Neil Patrick Harris)
Ralph S. Mouse by Cleary
Magic Treehouse by Osborne
Pippi Longstocking by Londgren
Ballpark Mysteries by Kelly
Knights' Tales by Morris
Chronicles of Narnia (starting with L,W,&W) by Lewis

Never Finished
These are a few I've tried that "didn't take" for whatever reason. Some we may revisit later. There are many more that I didn't bother to record.

Tom Sawyer by Twain
Peter Pan by Barrie
Matilda by Dahl
Junie B. Jones by Park

Acknowledgements: I need to give credit to my sister-in-law whose boys are 8 and 10yrs old and who consistently posts their book reviews on Goodreads.com. This has been and will continue to be a goldmine for me. It's also where I keep track of what we've read - and how I was able to create these lists. I do not have this good a memory!

That said, suggestions? Recommendations? What should we put on our To-Read list?