Then I married an aspiring doctor. Doctors don't travel! Except mine.🙋 Hallelujah he has learned the ropes of tracking points to get free trips, so now I'm back to traveling again. Sometimes without kids. Often with. (And don't worry, to everything there's a yang. I have 4 little kids and a hubs who travels a lot. Don't be jealous.)
But this is my world, so I get questions about traveling. Today I thought I'd collect some of the tips that have helped us in the past...
Why We Do Disney
How We Do Disney
Why We Fled the Country
Italy in Retrospect (2nd half is travel tips)
And add a few more, with an emphasis on big-picture ideas that have been key for us. Sorry if they sound bossy. They might not work for you. I make no guarantees. But if one of them helps, mission accomplished. Here we go:
1. Frame your Trip as an Adventure.
If you hear "travel" and picture carefree time napping on white beaches, you can stop reading now. That is a "vacation," an escape from responsibility in order to rest. That is lovely, sometimes necessary, often helpful, but that is not "travel," and it's certainly not travel with kids. Which will probably not surprise you.
However, you might be surprised how often people approach any trip as if it is supposed to be vacation. I paid for this. It's not "work." Therefore, it should be easy and carefree. Even if they're flying across an ocean or visiting a place they don't speak the language.
I believe this is the biggest trap Americans fall into. It can rapidly skewer any trip. It creates unrealistic expectations that turn quirks into annoyances, surprises into disappointments.
There is a remarkably easy fix: frame travel as an adventure. Look for stories to tell, puzzles to solve, and inspiration that can only come from the unfamiliar (good, bad, and ugly). We are wayfinders, observers of people, explorers of the wild. We want to see God's creativity, humanity's diversity, and how our bodies can cope with all of it. We do it for the thrill, the memories, and because it makes us stronger, deeper, and wider.
If you approach travel like Indiana Jones or Maya Angelou rather than Carrie Bradshaw, then sleepless nights, missed connections, and incompetent tour guides become your bread and butter. Not that you're reckless -- you've done your due diligence, read the reviews, planned the best trip you can -- but when new experiences are not as you imagined them (#duh they're new), you won't be wrecked.
Josh and I have spent many lovely nights in Paris, but the one we reference far more than any other is that hot, loud summer night in Montmartre at the cheap hotel with no AC where we had to keep the windows open (to breathe) and heard the locals all night long laughing, arguing, and playing music.
Would I book that hotel again? No.
Did that sleepless night wreck our trip? No.
Do I remember that night every time I read about the 1920s art renaissance in Paris? Absolutely.
It was part of the adventure, and in its own quirky way, it enhanced our trip.
Before I move on, I have to mention that experiences in both directions can do this. Using Josh's Marriott points in London, I got a great deal on a 5-star hotel during our last trip. It was the only time we've been greeted with a special shot of juice and nibble of chocolate at check-in because they'd asked in advance what we like to eat/drink. It knocked our socks off, and will be another story we remember. Does that mean we need to stay at 5-stars to be happy? Uh, no. THAT would be doom indeed.
One last thing on this note: Choosing to frame travel as an adventure communicates that perspective to the kids traveling with us. When they see us tackling the unexpected with relish or managing disappointment with grit, they are more likely to follow suit. We're all human, so none of us does this immediately or perfectly, but when appreciation and resilience form our home base, we'll end up back there after our initial reflex, and so will they. We hope.
2. Fill in Context.
The first time we took our kids to Washington DC, it was to see where Daddy was working on assignment. I was focused on seeing his temporary life there, not on preparing the kids for the city.
Once we got there, I realized my mistake. My oldest had a smidgeon of context from his 1st-grade social studies class, but it was hardly enough to get my 3 boys excited about a city they'd barely heard of. So we quickly rented Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian and National Treasure and spent a few hours in the apartment filling in gaps, giving them a picture of why the sites we'd be visiting matter.
We can tell our kids they should be thankful, they're so lucky to see ___, that this is a really cool ____, but if they haven't seen or heard of it in conversations or novels or documentaries or the myriad ways we form impressions of landmarks, we're just telling them how to feel, not making them feel it.
And this principle isn't just for kids. Before we travel somewhere, I look up books (travelogues or novels) and movies that are set in that locale. I brush up on why this place is interesting, why we're bothering to visit it, what stories have taken place there.
Before we visit Walt Disney World, we watch Disney movies and listen to Disney's endless library of songs. On our way to the UK, I read Bridge Jones Diary or About a Boy or Agatha Christie or Jane Austen. I'm preparing now for a trip to NYC so I dusted off From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E Frankweiler, You've Got Mail, Serendipity, and Rules of Civility, to name a few. If my kids were coming, Home Alone 2 would be on that list. You get the idea...
3. Remember your Audience.
Whether that audience is you or your children, make sure at least half your time is spent on what the audience wants to do, not just what you "should" do. You can't go to Paris and skip the Louvre. But you don't have to spend days in the Louvre, and you can set aside time to see Julia Child's apartment or the filming locations for Hugo Cabret, even if they're not on the top 15 lists of things to do in Paris.
I've spent the last few years mentally editing our "someday" trip to London with our boys, and I can tell you it won't be filled with the National Portrait Gallery and architecture tours. It will be full of castles and kings and Harry Potter and Peter Pan and playgrounds and the Natural Science Museum and afternoon tea (which we do at home to condition them to love it ;)). If we explore the Cabinet War Rooms, it'll be after we read The Book Thief and watched some of Darkest Hour (see #2).
The point is, we will stretch them--and ourselves--by seeing some of the "must-sees." But we'll provide as much context as we can, and we'll reserve the rest of the time to meet our kids where they are, to show them the magic of that place in the language of their developmental stage. We'll whet their appetite, so someday they'll want to come back as adults and do the stuff that currently looks "boring."
And we'll do the same for ourselves, even when we're kid-free. #grace
Ok, now for the nitty gritty. When planning for travel...
4. Join every Loyalty Program that's not a credit card.
Hotel chains, airlines, rental car companies, restaurants, you name it. They cost nothing to join, and while you may think, "I'll never be here again," you just might. A couple nights at an Accor (European) hotel every few years eventually adds up to a free stay. But really, why NOT? Because in travel...
Loyalty is a virtue. You want to stay at a boutique hotel? Go for it. But at least check to see if Hyatt has a boutique hotel in that city. Most chains are forming more heterogenous collections and adding local-flavored options to their offerings. And many small businesses are finding ways to join global networks so you can earn/use points with them. Don't assume every Marriott will feel like the Fairfield off the interstate. I just booked The Bernic in NYC with Hilton points. Globalization has its benefits.
TripAdvisor is my go-to for reviews, but it deletes some critical reviews and shows positive reviews up top. It also places a lot of weight on "value," so a top-ranked hotel may not be very nice but "earned" its rating because it's cheap. I still find the reviews helpful, but I know this going in. Same with Kayak, where their aggregated pricing can be helpful, but I don't assume they're showing me all the options. I also know their mobile site gives me better prices than on my laptop. #hmm
Also, sometimes it is worth booking through a discounter (i.e. Expedia, Priceline, Hotels.com). But beware -- discounters have access to a limited number of rooms, so they may show a hotel as sold out before it is actually sold out. Some hotels also treat discounter reservations with less...care than if you'd booked directly.
Finally, hotel chains are starting to go head-to-head with discounters, guaranteeing the lowest price and offering extra perks for booking with them. In fact, if you don't book directly with Hilton, your stays at their hotels will not earn you points with their loyalty program. That may not be a deal-breaker, but it's good to know if the prices are similar.
6. Pack well.
This is going to mean something different for every trip, but for us, it often means packing light so we're not weighed down with bags between hotels. It also means each person carries their own stuff.
To be specific, we have found the following products helpful:
As Adults
- Phone chargers (the kind that extend your phone life without a socket handy)
- Power converters (i.e. allows you to plug into Euro sockets)
- Ponchos (cheap, plastic) for when you have to be outdoor on rainy days
- Extra carryon bags that collapse into a sandwich bag for unexpected purchases (like this duffle)
- 4-wheelers i.e. suitcases you don't have to tilt to move (Note: I used to love travel backpacks but now that I'm old, they hurt my hips after a day at an art museum😬. Also, we've found the best--cheap--selection at TJ Maxx).
- Global entry -- it's a little-known program that gives you TSA-pre (faster airport security) and a breeze through US customs (helps with connections). If you have an airline credit card, they might even pay the fee for you.
With Kids
- Inflatable booster seats (we use Bubble Bums)
- Double-Bob stroller -- It's our vehicle/pack mule whenever we're planning to walk all day (exploring cities or amusement parks). I know it's priced like a vehicle, but after years and miles upon miles, it IS a vehicle to us.
- Backpacks that are lightweight and roomy (1/kid, each a different color, these have been our favorites).
- Matching t-shirts -- Walmart usually has a good selection of brightly-colored cool-wick t-shirts for $5-8/each. You will not believe how much easier it is to find your children in a crowd if they're all wearing the same bright color.
- Noise machine -- No one wants to hear every cough in the room, and these can plug in to run all night.
- Lollipops -- Particularly for takeoff/landings on airplanes, because they last a while and keep them sucking (to help their ears).
- TSA-pre (or global entry) also allows you to bring your kids through the faster/easier security line.
- No pack-n-play.🙅 It may sound risky, but in my experience, hotels always provide one. We've travelled with 4 babies and never been stuck. And pack-n-plays are too bulky/heavy to bring "just in case." If you're really risk-averse, bring a KidCo peapod (but make sure they've slept in it before you travel).
- Toy Bags. I hand each child over age 3 a gallon ziplock bag, and they fill it with small toys for the trip. They pack it with their clothes in their backpack and keep their backpack with them at all times while traveling to/from destinations. I fill it for the 2-year-old, or I'm pretty sure she'd pack my shoes and the salt shaker in her bag.
- Entertainment. We let each child bring 1 paperback book in their backpack (or the littles can have 2-3 of the Berenstein Bears ilk). I pack DVDs in a sandwich-size ziplock bag. If we're driving, they know they can watch 1-2 movies in the van while we are on the highway (depending on trip length). We don't use them for airplane rides (they don't work for our littlest and the bigs don't need them anymore), but we will pull them out if we're all staying in one hotel room so the big boys can watch in the bathroom on Daddy's laptop while the baby sleeps in the main room. #bathroomtheater ;)
And finally, 3 tips for while you are on the road...
7. Take Time Off from site-seeing.
There's all kinds of research that says drinking from a firehose isn't the best way to learn or experience...anything. We retain too little and enjoy it even less. So take your time. Pick 1-2 main events each day and don't crowd them. It's always tempting to squeeze in more -- when will we be here again? then I can say I saw it! it's so close to us! -- but the law of diminishing returns applies here. When your gut says you need down-time, take it. #noguilt
8. Go to Church.
I know it sounds...preachy? But seriously, we have found it immensely encouraging to worship with people from many backgrounds in different countries. We don't usually know anyone there, and we don't awkwardly work to meet people we'll never see again -- we just sit shoulder to shoulder with people who are so different and yet just like us. There is something about experiencing the global church -- and all its surprising styles -- that feeds faith. It also helps broaden our kids' view of church -- that it's not just our local community, something their parents do, but it truly is a global phenomenon.
9. Buy Something from a Nice Shop, not a street vendor.
Cheap t-shirts are everywhere. And if you love them, great. But I have only started realizing lately that the dress shirt Josh got in Rome is far more useful and valuable to us than any trinkets. The painting we had shipped home from Bath still hangs in our hall. I'd rather add 1 nice piece from a country to our permanent collection of stuff than more $5 disposable toys/souvenirs from every hovel.
Well, that's it for now. Feel free to add ideas in the comments!
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