Italy in Retrospect

If you're gonna face jet lag, do it somewhere with really goooood coffee.
And the fact Italian coffee shops open at 8am on weekdays
and restaurants open for dinner at 7pm on weekends just proves
I was meant to be Italian.

We are back. Back to our three scrumptious boys and wet summer heat and suburban Nashville. If you're on social media, you probably took the trip with us: London, Rome, Florence, Tuscany. Eight days. No kids. And about 24 cappuccinos per person (not kidding - see right).

It was amazing -- even better in retrospect. Much as I love our lives and would never want to move there (I did read Under the Tuscan Sun), it was one of our best vacations. Rather than repeating the play-by-play from InstaFB, I thought I'd just share some reflections from our trip, in pretty random order...

ON ITALY

1. I had low expectations. With my brother's study abroad as an excuse, my parents took me to Rome, Florence, and Venice when I was 16. I must have been a horrid 16 (I'm already dreading payback), because I do not have great memories from that trip. I remember hot, smoggy, noisy, crowded, with beggars and pickpockets and disappointing food (yeah, I know). I also got sick enough that I had to fly home early. Fast forward to 2015, and I had a very difficult time finding a book set in contemporary Rome that was actually flattering, which was ominous. On the flight there, I read Robert Hutchinson's memoir of frustration, When in Rome. AND my first day was in London, possibly my favorite city in the world. So I was ready to be disappointed. Really, the perfect position to start a trip. ;)

2. I was SO happily surprised. The air was clear and bright, not too hot, and not too crowded. We had some delicious food. I didn't see explicit sexuality everywhere (contra Gilbert in Eat Pray Love). Everyone was friendly and most spoke English. We hardly saw any gypsies and nothing was stolen. The buildings were not falling to pieces -- many had even been recently cleaned or renovated (contra Hutchison). We didn't even run into any operational fiascos or corruption (contra Berlusconi's rep). All the usual criticisms of Italy may still have a kernel of truth, but we didn't see them, and we weren't trying that hard to avoid them.

3. Italy is not like suburban Nashville. Insightful, I know. Still, the contrast was my biggest impression on re-entry. Though they're both "Western" and mostly English-speaking and warm and lush and sunny this time of year, the overabundance of 500-2,000-year-old art/history that papers the floors and walls and streets and churches throughout the old cities in Italy is totally foreign to my little domain back home.

I used to think the few cobblestone streets in MA were charming. Italy takes cobblestone to a whole new level. They're everywhere, but so much older that they're actually pleasant to walk on. And many are pedestrian. Can you imagine any American city blocking off that many central streets to cars?

This is not to mention the glorious facades on buildings around every corner, the 2,000-yr-old ruins sunk between city blocks...

Left: Modern cat habitat (literally, we met the vet who cares for the 300+ cats) built when Julius Caesar was running the country. #ruinsruinseverywhere
Right: Love how they left the ruins standing but built "new" townhomes adjacent and gave them matching street lights.

And the piazzas. The Piazzas.

4. The "old city" (tourist district) is far more attractive than its concentric circles. As with every other city I've visited (except Nantucket which has its own unique barriers to entry), the urban sprawl that is modern apartment buildings and graffiti and city buses, utility poles and laundry mats and tanning salons and...ordinary life is ubiquitous, and not everyone can be rich enough to make it beautiful. I came away from Italy in love with what we saw but also realizing we didn't interact with any of our locations as people who live there. We only saw the best they have to offer. Except when we strayed off the grid, and saw people defecating on the street or fighting in wedding dresses in front of a cafe or pushing a full shopping cart up a curb. This dichotomy always makes me uncomfortable. Is it disingenuous? Did we really get the Italian experience if we stayed on the curated level of a tourist? Who knows? But I do know if people came to visit me, I wouldn't take them to Dickerson Road. I'd want them to see the highlights of Nashville -- our city and culture at its most interesting and best. I can't imagine an Italian would be disappointed I did the same.

#nofilter

5. Their ingredients are not replacable. Under the Tuscan Sun refers to this, but now that I'm home, it's true. I cannot make an Italian cappuccino with these beans, and my attempt at tomato bruschetta was so pathetic I threw the last pieces away. We just don't have their fresh tomatoes which are TO DIE FOR. But really, I don't mind too much. It would be a little sad if that exact food were available anywhere. And in the interest of full disclosure, they don't have the best of everything. Tuscan bread has no salt in it, and every night it was served to us absolutely plain (no butter, oil, etc). So they have coffee, tomatoes, cheese, fresh-pressed olive oil, ribbons of never-dried-out pasta, truffles, etc. We have bread with salt.

6. While we're on food, Italians love carbs. Every menu starts with bread, then bread with stuff on it (antipasto), then pasta (primo), then meat and potatoes (secondo), then once you're good and full, a salad, fruit, or cheese. The primary ingredients to the 3 main courses appeared to be wheat, meat, and cheese. I struggled to find pasta that had veges mixed in, and then they were more of a garnish. We could not figure out how they eat all of these courses, what they have against vegetables, and why the servings were so big -- and yet they're still so svelte! #nofair

7. One more food item: It's cheap, if you can get the check. Maybe it's that we're used to a check for 5 instead of 2, but we were pleasantly surprised to get cappuccinos for <$2, lunches for <$25, and dinners in Rome for <$40, and that includes paying for water. IF we could get the bill. The food all comes out in a timely fashion, and then the servers disappear for about 30-45min before you can flag them down or accost the hostess. We weren't usually in a hurry, but we thought it was funny that they seemed to have no particular interest in getting paid. 

8. Men's fashion is just more fun over there. The men actually wear suits and ties regularly - and not just in navy blue! As in England, they're not afraid of color, patterns beyond the pinstripe, and clothes that fit. As I've gotten more into my side-job of dressing my husband, this made me wish we had lots more room in our luggage.

Where we didn't go...yet.

9. Italy has a rich and diverse landscape for such a small country (=Arizona). I didn't realize how much more there is to see than Rome. I could easily plan another trip, this time with Venice, Milan, the Dolomites, Cinque Terre, and the Amalfi Coast. To start. ;)

ON TRAVELING

It is hard to know how to talk about a trip to Italy. Sharing the bad with the good can sound like whining (after all, you're in Italy!), but not sharing the bad can sound saccharine and boasting. I'm convinced it's impossible to get just right. But I am going to take some space here to share some of the foibles from our trip - and when possible, how I'd address them.

1. The boys back home. To make the time go faster and be more fun for our boys, I enrolled them each in summer programs and they had 3 different sets of sitters. I'm convinced it all helped them not miss us. It also made the prep RIDICULOUS. SO many details to organize between carpools and handoffs, etc. Next time, I'll try to get them all in the same programs or somehow simplify this so I don't kill myself before we leave.

2. Sitters to the Rescue! Aaron threw up at camp (overheated) the day after I left. Isaac got a 24-hr stomach bug a few days later. These could have been disastrous; When you're across the pond, you don't want to rush home for a stomach bug. THANK GOD we learned years ago to get sitters who can handle the unexpected and not flee at the first sign of trouble. Or vomit.

3. Telecommunications. Josh managed to get us free data roaming in Europe (woohoo!), but it drained my battery, which was already faltering. Since my phone is my link to my children AND my camera, this became a constant source of anxiety. Next time, I'd get my phone checked out before we leave and probably buy a new battery rather than take one that's limping.

Top left looks so nice! Do not be deceived. The rest are
Hotel L'Orologio in Florence. Ahhh... :)

4. Good night, sleep tight. Thanks to Josh's business, we only had to book 4 nights of hotels. I decided to save $ one of those nights, and it was by far our worst night with short, restless sleep thanks to a noisy neighborhood, thin walls, cheap beds, and undependable AC. When you've gone to the trouble to get all the way over there, you hate to ruin 24 hours to save $75. Next time: Don't skimp on the hotel, no matter what the Trip Advisors say; it's only $100 for a reason.

5. Sleep and Sickness. I am ridiculously sensitive to sleep: If I don't get 8 hours, I tend to get sick. This may explain why I threw up at the end of the red-eye from Philly-London (Note to self: NO MORE REDEYES). Regardless, it terrified me as I was about to spend the day alone in London. How could I have a stomach bug when I didn't even have a hotel!? Miraculously, the nauseua vanished once I expelled the airplane food (hmm....). But a few days later we spent the night at the cheap hotel, and I woke up with a cold. I toured a bunch of medieval cities with one eye out for a "Farmacia." Next time: Bring more drugs, and #3.

Sheraton Parco Medici is a perfect example of how to
address #3 and #6 simultaneously. I would never have
picked it so far from the city center, but it was
pastoral and refreshing and worth the bus ride -
and chosen by Josh's conference organizers.

6. Priorities. Our cheap hotel night was compounded by a wild goose chase. It was a spontaneous addition to our plans, it was far from the tourist area, it was closed for a priest convention, and walking there and back through the hood not only wore us out but also consumed our last evening in Rome. Next time: Stick to the plan, or at least take a cab.

7. Relax. When we've gone all the way anywhere, it's easy to feel like we have to see as much as possible - we may not be back! But the temptation to marathon sightsee is a mirage - one I fall for often. Our best days usually involve a leisurely pace and some sitting and sipping in an outdoor cafe. Note to self: Don't ever feel guilty for missing another landmark because you slept in or had another cappuccino. This is not an assignment; it is vacation.

IN CONTEXT

I love reading books and watching movies set in the locations we plan to visit. It helps them come alive to me. I searched through many terrible lists of "books set in Italy." Eventually, I accumulated a collection more suited to my interests. So, here's my list... and bona sera!

#1 - The Agony and the Ecstasy by Irving Stone. A biography of Michelangelo written like a novel. I wish I'd heard of this book more than 2 days before our trip! It is also a movie starring Charlton Heston & Rex Harrison, which I now plan to see. 

#2 - Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes. Such a lovely prep for Tuscany - and Italian food. Also a movie starring Diane Lane.

#3 - Four Seasons in Rome by Anthony Doerr. A contemporary memoir of a year this writer spent adjusting to and falling in love with Rome with his wife and newborn twins.

#4 - The Inferno by Dan Brown. Josh read this and said it made Florence (and Venice, if we'd gone there) even more interesting.

#5 - When in Rome by Robert Hutchinson. A memoir of this journalist's year spent moving to Rome with his family and trying to penetrate the Vatican. At times fascinating, relatable, unflattering, and eventually boring.

#6 - "Eat" of Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. If you're just interested in Rome, you can skip the intro and stop at the end of the first section. Gilbert will whet your appetite for Italian food, if not Rome itself. There's also a movie starring Julia Roberts.

#7 - A Room with a View by E.M. Forster. The movie version starring Helena Bonham Carter & Maggie Smith is to die for.

#8 - "Roman Holiday" movie with Audrey Hepburn & Gary Cooper. Fluffy 1950s romcom fun & you'll recognize the major sites in Rome. I love the ending.

#9 - Blood, Bones & Butter by Gabrielle Hamilton. I really liked this book but rank it low because only some scenes near the end are set in Italy.

#? - The Shoemaker's Wife by Adriana Trigiani. I haven't gotten to this one yet, but I did like her book, Big Stone Gap.