Settling In

WHERE HAVE I BEEN?

On Facebook and Instagram. If you want regular updates on our little household, get thee to social media! ;)

Still, it's been 6 months since I last posted here, and if you've ever procrastinated on something, you know the longer you're overdue, the harder it gets -- there's just too much unsaid...where to start... But it's past time. So here goes...

2017, THE FIRST HALF

If 2016 was our Year of Drama (new school, new house, new family member, new diagnosis), 2017 has been about settling into the New Normal, getting used to it all.

Believe it or not, Katherine has been the easiest adjustment. She's a joy for all of us, even when she's fussy--and she has 8 teeth so you can imagine... We're all just happy she's here (even if it means the displaced youngest cries more than he used to).

I'm finding veteran mommyhood SO MUCH better than rookie mom-ing. That's good, because she's not been completely uncomplicated. (Who is?) She turned ONE in June (the boys are thrilled she's no longer ZERO), and now she's really starting to interact: pulling up, climbing, babbling, and exploring her world (i.e. my kitchen cabinets).

On the school front, I knew we'd finally arrived this spring when the boys compared their new school to their old school (as they have ALL YEAR) and the new school started winning. #winning

The new house has been great. Not everything is better than the old, but it is better in the areas that count -- the ones that led us to move in the first place. And we're using the new spaces I was unsure about. #bonus

THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

Which leaves us with the diagnosis. We're used to this, too. Aaron has an awesome attitude. Vanderbilt Children's is now familiar, friendly, even fun for him (the trains, toys, Ronald McDonald room, Ben & Jerry's). And Aaron's case is currently manageable. It's complicated -- which is why it's hard for me to give succinct updates -- but now I have more patience, gradually working through issues and not feeling pressure to "fix" everything today.

Here are the key points and prayer requests:

1. He still has 24-hr vomiting episodes every week or two. We've done all the tests without finding a fixable cause -- they seem to be a byproduct of his NF1. We're trying different meds, I'm still looking for patterns/triggers, we're going to see a national specialist in Birmingham in Sept, but if all else fails, I'm praying he will outgrow them. In the meantime, we're figuring out how to make them as unobtrusive as possible. Please pray they would go away.

2. His 6mo MRI came back with no new growth. This was a big relief, and means we can relax for a while on the worst case scenarios. The next hurdle will be puberty, as increased hormone levels can be problematic. But I'm hoping we have a few years to go on that front! In the meantime, please pray for no growth -- and particularly protection for his eyes/sight.

3. We're still working through the educational ramifications. He will be back at our local elementary school this fall, where HE LEARNED TO READ last year (Amazing). This summer, he's participating in a program at a private school that feels tailor-made for him. So we've seen some big wins. Please pray that we would continue to know the next right steps.

HOW DOES IT FEEL?

How does it actually feel to live in this "new normal"? Really good but with moments of fear, doubt, and inadequacy scattered throughout. Which sounds a lot like the "old normal," but there are a few differences...

1. Before this year, I knew I should soak up these days with our kids at home. Now, I feel it on a gut level. I sometimes forget, but I'm far more likely to relish time spent together as a family, not running around on a schedule, but relaxing, reading, hiking, joking, eating, swimming, traveling, and building deeper friendships. I don't take these days for granted, and that's a gift in itself.

2. Deeper friendships. I love helping people connect, and particularly as our church has grown quickly in the last 5 years, I've been collecting large groups of people so they can get to know each other and feel like they belong. That's all good, but it's a mile wide and inch deep. The point of these big gatherings is for potential friends to find each other and then go deeper on their own. This year has reminded me to do that myself -- that it's ok to spend a lot of time with a smaller group of people so we know each other well enough to support each other in private or prolonged challenges. That this is not inherently exclusive or cliquish. It's wise.

3. I had never experienced such fear as I have in the past year, and I've found it has created some friction between me and God. I still believe all the same doctrine, but I've struggled with anger that He says not to be afraid when there is so much pain to be afraid of. So we're wrestling a little, but not as strangers -- I just feel more like his teenage daughter some days.

4. While it may sound contradictory to #3, I have found the most comfort in my faith this year: scripture, hymns, worship songs, nature walks, church, doctrine, and the encouragement of fellow Christians have all been the best balm. I've always known I would not want to face life without Christ; this year has been further confirmation. I can cry and be angry with Him at the death of Lazarus, but also feel the hope of His resurrection power (John 11).

5. I really like having 4 kids. I don't have space to talk about all that each one is doing and becoming in this post, but they each bring something essential to our family, and we have a lot of fun together. It certainly takes a village, and we're probably not in the hardest years yet, but today, I'm just thankful God knew better than we did how many kids we should have.

And that's a wrap. If I have to keep going, I'll wind up procrastinating another month...

But for one more update, check out Good News!

It's a...

Did you know there's such a thing as "geriatric pregnancy"? And no, we're not talking science-fiction 60-year-olds giving birth. If you're due at 35 years or older, you're of "advanced maternal age." Doesn't that just give you the warm fuzzies?

But really, WHO CARES, because it comes with one giant perk: genetic testing at 10 WEEKS. They took a blood sample and called me 10 days later to say 1) our risk is low for chromosomal issues, and 2) it's a...

Me: Wait. What did you say?

Her: It's a girl.

Me: I have three boys. Are you sure?

Her: Yes. It's definitely a girl.

Me: OH MY GOODNESS. I didn't know we could do that! Oh my goodness. (crying now) It's a girl??!

Her: Yes. (smiling, I could hear it)

I immediately texted Josh to meet him for lunch; he had no clue why. Then my mom texted "out of the blue" to see if we knew the gender yet (How does she know these things?). She agreed to stop by with Dad after dinner, which just goes to show her mad patience skilz. Then I drove downtown with my heart racing. 

Josh found me on the first floor of his building in the Barnes & Noble kid section, buying Angelina Ballerina and Olivia board books. One look and he said, "Wait, do you know something?"

YES! I SURE DO!

We celebrated with Bread & Co. and PINK cake pops at Starbucks. I never liked pink so much as I do now. Still.

Then I headed for Publix. I had called before lunch, asking for a cake with no pink on the outside and all pink/strawberry inside. At first, the girl on the phone was annoyed: You want what? But then I explained the purpose, and she got. into. it. When I showed up at the bakery counter, she took one look at me and said, "You the GIRL?"

Then I drove home and started foraging for clothes. I'd considered stopping to buy a baby tutu, but I remembered my recent closet clean-out: Wasn't there a baby dress from my childhood that I just couldn't bear to lose...? Yes. Yes there was...

But first, our boys had to know. Josh got home from work, I squirmed my way through dinner, and then we asked them,

What do we still need to find out about the baby? (boy or girl?)
What do you think it will be? (boy, boy, boy)
Want to find out? (Yes!)
Want to eat cake? (duh)

We pulled the cake out of the box, and they're chanting "blue! blue! blue!" and I'm videoing and thinking, This could go south so fast...

But then Noah started the first cut and erupted:

"It's PINK! It's a girl! It's a GIRL!!"

And we all had a party. Right there. "It's a GIRL!"

Mom and Dad arrived soon after, and then I started texting...

The responses were so fun... (here's just a sample)

But the best was yet to come. Josh came home from work the next day with a giant bouquet of roses...
Me: Wow! Thank you! Look at those!
Him: They're for the girl!! I was looking for the most PINK I could find!
Me, guffawing: Awww. You are the sweetest! (cannot contain the laughter)
Him, smiling: Thanks?
Me: You're the best daddy! I love it! That's awesome! You are awesome. And SO adorable!!
Him, smiling but not knowing why: Um...Thanks...What's so funny?
This...

...for our baby girl. :) :) :)

She is gonna be SO loved.

Party, Party, Party!

How have 6 weeks flown by since my last post!? Too much has happened to recap everything, so I'm just going to cover this weekend while it is top-of-mind. It was full, but did not feel like a crazy-train, probably thanks to the ever-lovely nap time. But before we get to naps, it all started Saturday morning with...

FLAG FOOTBALL
Emphasis on FLAG. Not being a football fan myself (the news lately hasn't helped), I was resistant to this idea. But believe it or not, I have great memories of playing flag football when I was in elementary school. This league also has the perfect schedule for our family, is close to home, and we're doing it with lots of friends. In fact, after their first practice/games yesterday, Josh came home and said, "I love those guys" because he and a group of friends are coaching Noah's team.

It's also Aaron's first chance to be an official team member (vs. the volunteer 12th man - you can see Isaac took up that position below).

They even started him as quarterback! (in the loosest sense of the word)

Aaron did not hide his enthusiasm. I love that kid. 

We took a break for naps in the afternoon, then off to...

JOSH's WORK PARTY (minus the "work")
Josh is blessed with an awesome boss, and despite lots of financial stress at Vandy lately, he somehow managed to pull off a great party in his back yard Saturday night. We're gonna have to check out Jim 'n Nicks again (yum!), and sombreros. Must buy sombreros. ;)

A: The ice cream's as big as my head!

PARTY ON THE LAWN

In case we didn't yuck it up enough the night before, we went to church the next morning for an even bigger party. Our church's mission statement is "To follow Christ in His mission of loving people, places, and things to life." One of the ways we do that? Parties. Big parties (hence the map - I missed the horse-back rides altogether). And not just for us - as a gift #forourcity. 

Papa participated in the car show, and was very popular as he let the kids get in! And take it for a spin! (jk) 

It was amusing that with all the amazing activities (a rope bridge, ice cream contest, cyclocross course, etc), my boys eventually wound up in the toddler tent with Isaac, who played happily there the whole time with a big bucket full of balls.

PARTY NUMERO TRES

After another necessary nap time, we hopped over to my parents'. Somehow my niece scored an invitation to a private listening party with Taylor Swift. While she and Taylor became best friends, my brother visited with the Franklin branch of our family - and kicked off my birthday-week celebrations. 

Which is to say, this was not a typical weekend for us - but when required to party, party, party, we'll do our part. ;)

Generous Tonsils, Part 2

(Confused? See Generous Tonsils, Part 1)

We scheduled Aaron's joint tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy (yes, that's a word, though no one really uses it, since they just take 'em out while they're in there for the big guns). It was during what we hoped would be a "lull" in our summer: June 19th. After summer camp, before further travel, grands in town? Check!

When June 18th rolled around, it suddenly hit me that he was about to be laid-up for 2 weeks (gulp!). We promptly squeezed 14 days of activity into 12 hours...

At Chuck-E-Cheese with good friends.

We were out the door the next morning by 6:15am for an 8-9am surgery. Our first stop was the family waiting area, where they had Disney Channel playing, trucks, puzzles, and even a playstation. No food is allowed since the kids can't eat or drink, so Josh and I took turns sneaking back to the carefully-camouflaged parent dining area.

Then it was our turn for pre-op, where Aaron and Peter Pan...

1) Received special bracelets and "finger hugs" (measuring the oxygen level),
2) Saw the room they'd be going into (on the iPad) and discussed why everyone else would be masked (they're still good guys).
3) Chose the flavor for his sleeping gas (raspberry),
4) Turned his bed into a racetrack for hot wheels (Remembering back on his time in the hospital, Aaron said, "They gave me hot wheels! And they told me, You can draw on the bed! It wasn't a regular bed. It was a magic drawing bed!"
5) Drove away in their cozy coupe with the surgical team in attendance (ala secret service).

I was so impressed by the whole process. As was Aaron, who was ready to move in.

Ironically, it was similar to my introduction to hospitals. I had an emergency appendectomy when I was his age (4), and while I remember the pain, my overall memories are happy: pudding and ice cream to eat, balloons/crayons/gifts from family and friends, candy stripers visiting my room, and all-I-could-watch TV. Life was goooood. And since most hospital visits could use all the help they can get, carrying a little warm fuzzies in the back of your mind is not a bad thing.

Thanks to the brilliance of Vandy Children's, I think Aaron would still jump at another visit. Minus the recovery...

Which is coming up next! Generous Tonsils, Last Part

July 4th with the Martins

We were SO glad to have Josh's cousins visit for the 4th! Along with a few other little guests which we ate for dinner...

Aaron rode his bike through our entire neighborhood in the parade! I was so impressed. He was no doubt spurred on by the firetruck in front of him. If only we always had such effective motivators!

The toddler boy version of a make-over...

Midday was full of silliness (cousin Scott is such a good sport) and a giant slide...

The "epic" slip-n-slide (something our neighborhood sets up each year for the 4th)

And our dinner guests, thanks to Uncle Skipper & Aunt Hana's awesome generosity...

Who knew there really was a utensil named a "doohickey"?

Right: The race they never ran... Unlike Aaron, the lobsters were not motivated.

To our delight, July 4th was in the 70s, so we were able to sit around a fire pit that night and watch the fireworks while eating smores.

The next day we recovered from all that rich food at the local pub, eating fish and chips and burgers. Not exactly "The Hungry Caterpillar" version... ;)

Can't wait to have the Martins again sometime! If you don't live in Nashville, feel free to come stay at the Denny B&B! We LOVE guests! :)

Louisville Oct 2013

(Pics from a trip to Louisville in Oct 2013 that I somehow never published but want to remember)

Legos, biscuits, and gravy with Gege Merrill

Visiting Great Grandma T in the hospital

A special night out

Playing with Maw-maw Ball

...and Papa Ball

At a nearby farm

And at the Martins'

with all the cousins

And tractors.

Finally a trip to the park, where we found Drew's bench and Gigi & Papa Denny's names.

A Shock and Loss

On our way home from Atlanta on Tuesday, we found out that Josh's cousin Drew had fallen critically ill the night before. Josh left Wednesday morning to visit him and his family in Louisville. Josh returned Thursday night, but within a week, Drew was gone. It felt just that fast and shocking.

Drew was an avid musician, cyclist, event manager (on the grand scale - he helped run the Louisville Convention Center for years), Jesus lover, and family man. He was 41 years old, and left behind his wife and two children (5, 2).

We joined Josh's family to remember Drew the following weekend. I was amazed by the outpouring of love for Drew and his family. The line at the visitation wrapped through the halls of Middletown Christian Church and out the door for 5+ hours (they actually had to move their church service so everyone could pay their respects). The service included personal stories and songs from friends, and an honest and encouraging message from the pastor - just what I would hope to have someday, but much too soon for Drew. I was impressed by the strength and grace shown by Drew's immediate family. We will continue to pray for his wife and children especially.

Drew was most recently director of operations for the Yum! Center, the brand-new arena where the Louisville basketball team plays, among other notable acts (if you're a Nashvillian, think Bridgestone). After the funeral, his coworkers invited us for a behind-the-scenes tour of his "office." It was great to see all that he managed, but far better to see the admiration and love they felt for him. The employee who guided our tour spoke of Drew in the present tense the whole time. It's bittersweet to see how many people will remember and miss him. We will, too.

Christmas Flu By

It feels like just yesterday that I was telling the boys Daddy would be home for the next TEN DAYS -- days filled with church services, movies, cooking, meals, cousins, presents, and visits from out-of-town family and friends. We were all eager.

And it began beautifully. A quiet family weekend. Grandparents arrived for Christmas Eve. A candlelit service. Friends joined us for dinner in the dining room.

I didn't notice anything amiss until Christmas morning, when I woke with a soar throat I
couldn't shake. Still, it faded into the background as our little elves collected candy, ate french toast and sausage for breakfast, opened presents, and played with each new toy in turn.
 

I slept through lunch, but it wasn't till evening that my temperature started to climb. Patient 0 was falling fast.

Thursday, Noah followed with a fever and cough.

Friday, it was Isaac's turn.

Saturday, Josh.

Makes it all sound simple. Ha. But in the spirit of the season (and because we can practically recite "White Christmas" with the boys), we're going to count our blessings... 

1. Several of my relatives came to visit, but they all had other places to hang out while we were in quarantine. So far, none of them have gotten sick from us. We hope.

2. Our flu shots and tamiflu helped protect us from a more severe course. Fevers around 102 for 3-5 days could've been 104 for 5-10 days. It all could've been much worse.

3. Even little Isaac, who was too young for the shot or medicine, got both through me. His congestion made it difficult to nurse, but my pump made it possible for him to still get the good stuff -- and return to nursing after his case cleared up. I take back all the nasty things I've ever said about my pump. 

4. Aaron, miraculously, is the only one who never got sick (thank God). Noah, on the other hand, got flu and strep on top of each other but seemed impressively un-phased.

5. I am married to a doctor. While he doesn't keep a full clinic in our home, he brings knowledge and a sense of calm. He's seen it all before, and he knows when/how to react -- including when to head over to the Vandy Walk-in Clinic or our pediatrician's weekend hours, for which we are also thankful.

6. Josh and I were both home and took turns getting sick. I'm usually good at planning my illnesses when Josh is unavailable. This time, God was merciful. Josh took care of all 3 boys while I was sick (Wed-Sat) and then I took over while he camped out in the bedroom (Sat-Tues). This alone saved us.

7. Facebook helped us figure out that it was the flu and communicate with others in the same boat. As a result, a few different neighbors brought Gatorade, oatmeal, chicken noodle soup, and salad right to our front door. The food definitely tasted sweeter knowing the hearts behind it.

8. Josh was supposed to work 12/31-1/1 in the hospital, but one of his mentors took the holiday for him. What a relief that he could stay in bed and sleep it off rather than sharing his shot-resistant flu with his already-sick geriatric patients.

9. We're all on the mend. I still haven't made it out of the house much, but another day of rest has us ready to jump back into the routine...soon.

10. We should NOT get the flu next week, when we head south for The Denny Disney Adventure of 2013. But of course, prayers are appreciated. ;)