When I graduated high school, I knew what I believed. I had grown up in a family whose faith was real and well-informed, a church whose teaching was consistent, and with parents and pastors who answered my teenage questions with ease. And if you asked me a month ago whether I still hold those beliefs, I would have said yes. And for the most part, it's true. I still believe the Bible, and my relationship with God is more important to me than ever.
But...the last month has put a mirror in front of my face, and I've been surprised to find that in some ways, my worldview has evolved. It has not been a conscious effort. Rather, a million interactions large and small have produced some subtle shifts. The most obvious influences were a change in church denomination and a job working with a diverse population of evangelical Christians. Probably the most important influence has been my own neglect: the active probing and Bible exegesis that kept me sharp in school has atrophied as my focus has turned to application and "living out my faith" as an adult. I blame the rest on books, people, and our post-modern culture. But regardless of the cause, I find myself today left with several questions:
1) What do I really believe?
2) Is that belief true? and
3) How does that affect the way I live?
For those of you about to send me an evangelism tract, rest assured that I don't think my current exploration undermines the essentials of Christian faith. John MacArhur might disagree, but I think I'd be safe with C.S. Lewis. For example, I believe in the existence of Hell, but I've gotten fuzzy on what it looks like. I also believe Revelation is God-inspired, but I'm not sure how much of it was meant to literally describe the end of the world (or in what order). And frankly, I believe Genesis 1-2 is a profound description of God's work in creation, but I'm not sure it excludes the possibility of evolution playing a role.
Now that I see how my own thinking has drifted, I'm eager to probe the resulting questions. How do I get back on track? Is this shift the appropriate result of a maturity more alert to nuance than the black-and-white views of my youth? What kinds of Bible study will bring clarity to the finer points of theology, and how much clarity is possible? I don't yet know, but I can tell you I'll be praying, reading, and seeking your input, so feel free to send me your thoughts.
Carolyn - what an intriguing post. I wouldn't describe where you are as "off track." I think those who question what they believe and why have a stronger faith in and deeper love for God than those who don't ever do so. I encourage you to not try to get back on the track you were on, but follow your current track where God leads you.
ReplyDeleteFrom personal experience, I highly recommend an inductive Bible study. This method gave me the tools to thoroughly investigate God's word for myself, not through someone else's eyes. It also has allowed God to speak to me about very specific issues in my life.
I hope this comment makes sense b/c I tried to post one that was erased and I felt it was worded better!
I agree with WordGirl -- intriguing!! I'm interested as well because I think I've had a similar experience in the past few months, though with my own starting and current points, of course. [I'm unwilling to say "end point" because I don't think I'm done, yet, either!]
ReplyDeleteI think you are right on track -- sometimes asking the questions, and following where they lead -- are the important parts.
I have done some self study and had conversations with my pastor about various questions of faith and belief and what it means to examine yourself periodically and even stray for a bit! My pastor encouraged me that those examinations are the very essence of the Christian experience. As Christians we are constantly forced to be "bi-lingual" and exist in the world and in the church. To examine one's position in this relationship is a very Christian experience! Those thoughts by him helped to encourage me when I was examining some areas of my life. Take care!
ReplyDelete