Back in the Saddle

In the last few months, I have written 6 posts that I've never published and imagined several more than I've never written. Each time, I've been attempting to capture an issue on my mind, something abstract, controversial, or complicated. But they are often hard to summarize in a few paragraphs; I'm unsure of my position or how others will react to it; I run out of time to complete an entry; Or the moment passes and my passion wanes before I get it written. And frankly, it's always easier not to publish, or just to write about the boys. They're adorable, entertaining, and don't step on anyone's philosophical toes.

What has really surprised me is my reaction to this circumstance. It makes me feel overwhelmed by all that I want to say but haven't, drained because of the chaos in my head that hasn't been organized into essays, embarrassed by how poorly the blog has represented my thought life, and disappointed that I haven't had the courage to publish more substantive ideas that might move the discussion forward (for myself or others). I have literally felt the strain of not keeping up the blog the way I want to - not because of any pressure from others, but because I really miss it. It keeps me healthy and happy in more ways than I realized.

So this entry -- which I hope to actually publish -- is me getting back on track with one giant disclaimer.

I know that I do not have it all figured out.

I do not have it all figured out.

And just for good measure...

I don't have much at all figured out.

I have been waiting to publish an entry until I knew it was complete and resolved. It ain't gonna happen. So be forewarned that I am going to post some half-baked ideas. I am constantly learning, my thought processes evolving, just like you. Just cause I wrote it yesterday, doesn't mean it's exactly what I think today. But it is part of my journey, helping me crystallize thoughts along the way, asking for input from you, and possibly even offering food for your thought.

Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt, for challenging me with new perspectives, and for your patience.