Mostly through school, I discovered that it felt good to stand up to peer pressure, to remain loyal to that ostracized friend, or to take on a new and scary challenge. Lessons in courage, I suppose.
During my 20s, a few dear friends showed me how essential it is to be someone that is difficult to offend - to be flexible, assume the best of others, and not dwell on the details. Lessons in love.
Good lessons. Ones I've utilized many times.
But not always. Lately, I've been surprised by my own fragility. A harsh word. A scary fall. An unmet expectation. One errant email has the power to create a cloud over my head for far too long.
All reminders that security is easy in peacetime. I can rest on my laurels from past decades when the worst I have to bear is coming from someone who can't yet say his own name. It's the clouds, the red flags, that are adding new urgency to my time with God.
I don't want to become emotionally lazy. I don't want to give any room to bitterness. I don't want my heart weighed down by weakness. But I don't want it to become hard and impenetrable either. So I'm spending some time trying to remember that what I learned before (God is good and I can trust Him) makes what I'm learning this week possible. I can be humble and secure and at peace (i.e. strong) because whatever conflict I'm encountering does not threaten who I am or His purpose for me, it's just an opportunity to become more like Him.
Which means next time I'm under a cloud, I know what I need to do. Pick up my Bible, say a prayer, and replace that fear with gratitude...
God's Message:
"Cursed is the strong one
who depends on mere humans,
Who thinks he can make it on muscle alone
and sets God aside as dead weight.
He's like a tumbleweed on the prairie,
out of touch with the good earth.
He lives rootless and aimless
in a land where nothing grows.
"But blessed is the man who trusts me, God,
the woman who sticks with God.
They're like trees replanted in Eden,
putting down roots near the rivers—
Never a worry through the hottest of summers,
never dropping a leaf,
Serene and calm through droughts,
bearing fresh fruit every season.
"The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,
a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, God, search the heart
and examine the mind.
I get to the heart of the human.
I get to the root of things.
I treat them as they really are,
not as they pretend to be." - Jeremiah 17:5-10
"I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws." - Ezekiel 36:25-27
"Feel thanks and it's absolutely impossible to feel angry. We can only experience one emotion at a time. And we get to choose -- which emotion do we want to feel?" - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts
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