Stuck in Reverse

He's not particularly fast, he's not really using his legs, and he only goes backward, but HE'S MOVING! Set him on his tummy and he does push-ups that scoot him backward quite effectively. We're excited to see him moving, though I must admit he's a little frustrated with the phenomenon as it takes him constantly further from his target. He started playing with the inside of his farm, pushing the animals through to the other side. In the process of reaching for those animals, he wound up further from the farm. Eventually he worked himself all the way around the floor, as you can tell from the picture above. This does not make for a happy camper. But it does make for a cute one. We're just thankful we've babyproofed, since he's already showing a love for outlets. I see vigilence becoming a key characteristic in our home...

One Step of Faith at a Time

I think my Kiwi is history (for now, at least). Thanks to many of you, I've been reminded over the past two days of a few important facts:

1. Kiwi is unavoidable. We could be moving to Heaven and I'd have doubts about the change.
2. Kiwi can suck the joy out of a huge blessing, morphing into ingratitude without warning.
2. Ministry requires a combination of calling, talent, and opportunity. I don't have any of the three when it comes to many of the problems in the world, so I probably shouldn't focus on those problems.
3. I can't save the world - or fix it. I can't make life fair for others, no matter how much I give. (I should still give, but not with a messiah complex attached.)
4. As much as we love our current house...it will never have a 4th bedroom, and it will never be in Williamson County.
5. The new house plays to our calling, talents, and opportunity. The opportunity may not be obvious (like feeding orphans in Africa) but we'll be more effective at it (e.g. hosting friends and family). (And thanks to Compassion Int'l, we can do both.)

Finally, God has opened the doors to this new path. He knows about the people suffering in China and Myanmar, and somehow he still seems to have a plan for us in cushy Franklin. I don't get it, but since when have I?

Kiwi

Our favorite TV show, The West Wing, used to joke that no one in the White House was allowed to say the word "recession," so they would substitute a less frightening word:

"Economic indicators are pointing in the direction of a possible bagel."

I can think of a phrase of smaller proportion but similar negativity that I have recently been fighting: buyer's remorse. To protect our collective state of mind, I'll hereafter refer to it as "kiwi."

If you read my previous post, you know that kiwi could be particularly perilous at this moment in my life. We're not talking about regret over the choice of entree at lunch. We're talking about the single largest purchase Josh and I are ever likely to make. In fact, when we're talking about buying a house, we should probably call it "Kiwi."

Now before I scare you too much, let me qualify this Kiwi with the following lovely and critical amendments:
-- I believe we can afford the house.
-- I still really like the house, neighborhood, location, etc.
-- I trust the process we used to make the decision: prayer, research, consulting trusted advisers, comparison shopping, etc.

If any of the above were not true, this would be KIWI. But let's not even go there. I've got enough to digest with just one capital letter.

So, what loop-hole slipped through our decision-making process? What doubts could possibly be haunting my late-night ruminations? Here's the big bad issue: It's too nice.

For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with the moral dilemma inherent in living as a middle-class suburban American. How can I come home to 2200sf when someone across town doesn't have 200sf and someone across the globe doesn't have water? Should we be giving more away? Should we be living around more people in need so we can help them? The questions arise regularly, and my answers are often more questions: What would we do differently? Where has God called us? How can we help the most? Is physical need more important than emotional/social/spiritual need? How can we best use the talents God has given us? Even if we were to move to the projects, what would we do when we got there? And what about the ministries we're already involved in?

Clearly, I don't have the answers. But at least it was easier to justify our current house. The new house is bigger, nicer, and further from the projects. Hence, the Kiwi.

So what are we doing about it? Two things:
1. Continuing to pray that God will give us the house if it would draw us closer to him or not if it would not.
2. Looking for ways to spend more of our time helping those in need, from wherever we're living.

If you'd like to enjoy a little kiwi yourself, rent Second Chance, a Christian movie starring Michael W. Smith that wasn't half bad.

We Bought a House!

That's right! We're moving! Some of you know that we've been casually browsing the housing market for about 18 months looking for "the perfect house" (for us anyway). Well, we think we finally found it. And it's been really humbling to see how God has opened one door after another, confirming this house, timing, and location. A few examples...

-- Back in February, my parents planned a trip to visit us this weekend, so they were here (and actually standing in the house with us) when we found out that our offer had been accepted.

-- During our first visit to the house, we drove around the neighborhood and talked to a few residents about how much they love living there. Then, I went directly to book club, where I told a good friend about the house. The next day, my friend was at a park and happened to talk to another mother there. She found out the other woman lives in Chestnut Bend -- and happened to be the person Josh and I had talked to the night before.

-- Every other time we found a house we liked, we were in the midst of a very busy season with weekends booked for months ahead. This time, we'd just hit the summer break and had very few plans for the next three months. Not only that, but we had just finished the major improvements to our house that we'd been slowly implementing since last year.

-- At first we weren't sure about the location (we're less familiar with downtown Franklin), but even there, all of our concerns were answered through various friends-of-friends or old-fashioned research: Josh's commute time, distance from church and friends, local amenities, HOA, etc. Now, I'm as excited about the location as I am the house.

God even addressed the little things. Since the backyard comes to a point, it could look odd if both neighbors fence in their backyards. But it turns out the Home Owners Assoc doesn't allow big fences, so there's almost no chance that would be a problem for us.

There are more examples, but they all point to one fact: I feel confident in this move - and amazingly blessed. I know it could still fall apart before closing, but in the meantime, I'm so grateful that it seems to be coming together. I can see our family in this house for years to come, and it's a beautiful sight.

We Love Ya, Stevie

A few of Noah's latest discoveries:

- Double-fisting It - He can now palm a block in each hand and knock them together.

- The Stevie Wonder - Noah smiles, looks up toward the sky, sways right to left, and wags his head. It's the most adorable expression of delight - and a hilarious imitation of the great entertainer.

- Na-Na-Ba-Ba-Ra-Da-Da-Da-Ma-Ra-Ma-Ma - That's right! He's saying my name! Amidst a few other syllables, of course...

- Spin the Wheel - Noah can walk his hands toward whatever he wants within an arm-length radius. He can't quite drag his whole body, so his torso becomes the hub of the wheel as he spins around with his arms in the lead. He can also roll toward anything within about 3 feet. So he's still containable, but not quite trustworthy on a sofa or bed.

Happy Mother's Day

Since Noah was born, I have found that I...

- Listen to Moody Radio
- Attend weekday Bible study
- Wear more t-shirts than "blouses"
- Sing hymns, especially "Great is Thy Faithfulness"
- Call Noah my "little lamb"
- Solve the world's problems on the phone with friends
- Clip coupons
- Cook easy casseroles
- Have a sore back (Noah's not getting any lighter)
- Conserve, re-use, recycle
- Eat peanut butter almost every day
- Work to make sure Josh know he's not forgotten
- Pray, pray, pray

In short, I'm becoming my mother. And fortunately for me, that's a very good thing.

Thanks Mom. I love you.

Lucky

I feel like the luckiest mom in the world. I haven't written much about Noah's sweet disposition because somehow it felt like bragging. And I think I'm not the only one. I've noticed lately that sometimes when I compliment other babies or toddlers, the moms contradict me.

ME: "She's so sweet tempered!"
MOM: "Oh you should have seen her last night - she knows how to throw a fit."

ME: "He's so polite."
MOM: "Well - that's just 'cause he wants something."

It sounds terrible -- disparaging their own children, in front of their children. Yet it's surprisingly easy to do. It feels self-deprecating, as if our children were merely extensions of us (their moms) rather than independent people worthy of encouragement (and sensitive to discouragement - especially from Mom).

So in an effort to make sure I don't fall into this trap, I've decided to rave a bit. If it sounds like bragging, so be it. There couldn't be a better reason.

For the last week, Noah has been a little under the weather - a low fever last Thursday and then a cough ever since. He's a little clingier and fussier, but not crying a lot, still sleeping through the night, still content when running errands with me, still smiling at people and easily entertained. In short, he's still been sweeter and easier to have around than I would expect of a healthy baby. And, it turns out, he has an ear infection.

Last night, I had to take him with me to Publix just before bedtime to get his antibiotic. He was hungry, tired, coughing, had an ear ache, and is cutting a tooth. And by the time we left Publix, I think everyone in the store had said something about how sweet and cute he is. A few toys to suck on, a few words of encouragement, and a round of "Old MacDonald had a farm" were enough to keep him happy. Naturally, he has moments of crankiness, and as he grows, he's learning how to express his desires and displeasure (especially at bedtime). Yet I am still amazed that he is so patient and sweet-tempered.

And it's fun to see how his personality plays out as he develops. For example, he's always been social and fairly verbal - smiling and babbling up a storm. He's also been such a content baby, that he doesn't show much interest in rolling or crawling. I have a hunch that he'll be talking early and walking late. But it could be the opposite - I just love that we get to find out. That we get to know him, study him, and encourage him to keep going, trying new things, and expressing himself in respectful ways.

And I thank God that our first baby is such a happy baby. There's enough uncertainty and fear and ignorance wrapped up in being a first-time parent; I'm so glad it wasn't overlaid with a sensitive or colicky kid. Which brings me back to my first thought: maybe I am the luckiest mom in the world.