Relative

We just finished a very fun and busy week with a special guest in our home: my youngest nephew (2.5-yrs-old). He is a really sweet little boy who fit right in with our family and gave us a taste of having two boys. And since my mind is already gearing up for the presence of male siblings in our home come July, I couldn't help noticing a couple dynamics between my nephews and my son.

First, I realized I was only used to seeing my younger nephew in the presence of his older brother (4.5-yrs-old). To me, he was part of a pair. I had been more likely to notice the aspects of his personality that differed from his brother's. Once he was at our house sans-brother, it was so much easier to see him in 3D. His sweet temperament, good manners, and playfulness--all attributes he shares with his brother--were more obvious than ever. My appreciation for him didn't change, but it did gain more depth. I miss him already!

Second, I saw by day 3 that Noah acted differently around his cousin than he would have alone. As one of my southern friends would say, he "showed out" more. He was less likely to sit and play or suck his thumb. He clearly idolized the older boy and was often in his face or space, begging for attention. Alone again today, he reverted to his quieter self (a bit to my relief).

Naturally, I've been wondering how these phenomenon could impact our sons. How will Noah change when he's "the older" instead of "the only"? How will our second son's personality be shaped by his desire to impress Noah? Will my view of our boys be typified by their differences or will I be able to see each fully, without comparing?

I hadn't realized until this week how appropriate it is that we call a family member a "relative." A mother of five once told me that the birth of each child doesn't just add to the family, it shifts the position of everyone in the family. This week, I've seen the truth of it. Next fall, we'll feel the truth of it.

In the meantime, I'm counting on--and praying for--the following:
1. That my boys will love and respect each other as much as I love and respect my brothers.
2. That God will help me avoid the traps of comparison.
3. That God will be using the richness of each member of our family to inspire, refine, and improve each other.

Fortunately, this week was also full of opportunities to see the benefits of having two boys. It was awesome to see Noah learning how to play with (and share with) his cousin, so excited to be with him, asking for him whenever they were apart, and learning new skills from him. I loved toddling around with two boys and seeing how they reacted to the playground, Easter baskets, books, Daddy/Uncle Josh, shrimp, and so much more. They really are a joy.

And they made me even more excited about welcoming another little boy into our family this summer! I can't wait to meet him - and see his relationship with Noah (and his cousins) blossom. At the same time, I'm so thankful for the insights and lessons God is giving me now, preparing me for the future and preparing our family for the new adventure.