Noah has never been "fearless" in the way I expected. He's not one to dive off the edge of anything. Yet he's also never shown much fear. He's been at ease with strange people, strange nurseries, strange foods, strange playgrounds...
Until about two weeks ago. Suddenly, when the icemaker dropped a load of ice in the freezer, he startled. The doorbell rang and he wanted me to hold him ("hup me hup me hup"). We entered a new environ and his legs clung tighter to my waist (or what used to be my waist). He cried during his sleep. All the signs were there: he was usually his happy, giggly self, but he could finally imagine that something could go wrong.
Thankfully, he is adjusting beautifully to this newly dangerous world. As we reassure him and experience teaches him that he is safe, the most troubling symptom--night terrors*--seems to have abated. And he's taking new experiences in stride.
Last weekend, he was thrilled to play with Maw-maw and Papa Ball, pester his aunts and uncle, meet chickens and rabbits, ride a tractor, hang out in a new church nursery, and sleep through the night. This morning, we sat together and watched a thunderstorm roll in, enjoying the show. This afternoon, he voluntarily stayed in the pool for at least 30minutes (only his 2nd time this year). And the biggest step of all: he was happy to sleep in his "big boy room" for the first time tonight!
All this to say that if you know and love Noah, you probably won't notice a difference. He's still a bubbly, happy, independent, social little boy. But as his Mommy and Daddy, it is a privelege to watch the plates slowly shift under his feet and hold his hands as he regains his footing.*A Note on Night Terrors: Good info is hard to find, but thanks to babycenter.com and Josh's many medical references, here's what we learned in case you encounter them:
1. Night terrors are not nightmares. Children wake from nightmares, cry, and remember glimpses of their fear. Children cry without waking up during a night terror. When they do finally wake (sometimes hours later), they have no memory of the fear.
2. Don't mention them. Because the child doesn't know they're having night terrors, it's generally best not to talk to them about it (ironically, you'll only scare them).
3. Don't wake them. It seems the merciful thing to do, but it's hard to wake a child in the midst of a night terror. If you let them work through it, they'll keep sleeping and wake without any memory that it happened.
4. Pray for them. And know it's harder on you than it is on them.
5. They'll get over them. Night terrors can accompany a developmental/environmental change, but it seems they don't usually last more than a few days/weeks.
The 9yo had night terrors as a toddler, but the 3yo never did. I found every time they happened, it had been just long enough since the last time that I had forgotten what they were and they scared the fool out of me, too, until I was fully able to wake up and process what was happening.
ReplyDeleteUnrelated [except for waking in the middle of the night], but croup [another thing the 9yo had, but never the 3yo] had the same effect on me. I woke up terrified at her seal barking, then finally, sometimes 15 minutes in, I'd wake up enough to say, Oh riiiiiiiight. Croup.
Carolyn,
ReplyDeleteI wanted to mention something...
This is going to sound weird but it happened to both myself and two other friends who had kids about 20-24mo apart...
Anyways, for no explained reason at all, as the births got closer, the "only child" started waking at night a lot!! It would be hard to console them, get them back to sleep, etc. It seemed out of the blue because they had been sleeping through the night before then. For us it was 2mo before due date that it all really hit and it went away right after our second child was born.
I don't know if they can just sense things are going to be different or what but I think they know something is up.
Just giving you another idea about night waking and fears and such too...