Appearances Can Be...

Sunday morning, I sat in front of our church class, announcing upcoming events, with lip liner on but no lipstick. I didn't realize this at the time. It occurred to me halfway through the lesson. Pale pink peeling lips. Red outline. Awesome.

Not that this is anything new. My forgetfulness regarding my own grooming has been a constant in my life, though the frequency has grown with each baby born. Last Friday night, I changed clothes just to wear some new earrings. Then I walked out the door without the earrings. Grr.

I've always been amazed by the women who look perfectly groomed every time I see them. As a teenager I remember thinking I'd never want to be famous, because I just wasn't the kind of person who could look coiffed 24/7.

I've tried various strategies to mitigate my absentmindedness. Extra makeup in the car; combs and lipstick in each purse; even a change of clothes in the trunk. And they all help. But no amount of money or planning can compensate for every emergency.

Well, that's probably not true. The truth is that I don't care enough. I don't care enough to remember. And often I don't care enough that even if I do remember I'd be willing to make the sacrifices to look my best. I've learned this about myself. I won't wake earlier to blow-dry my hair. I won't skip an event just because I didn't have time to "finish" getting ready. I won't spend more than $30 on a haircut. I won't wear uncomfortable high heels (unless it's for my hubby). And I don't think I could pay full price for an outfit.

That said, I don't want my appearance to be a distraction or embarrassment. A few weeks ago, I met some friends at the park. They introduced me to some new people, and I ran into several acquaintances. It never occurred to me how I looked. Until I got back to the car and saw my reflection in the window (which I've discovered is much more forgiving than a mirror). My hair was finger-in-a-socket windblown, and I'd completely forgotten makeup. Yikes.

All of which has led me back to the same few questions over the years:

What did those who saw me think?
Did they notice my bad hair day and find it embarrassing? Or am I just more sensitive to the fluctuations in my own appearance and no one else really cares? When does my appearance cross the line from "normal" to "unkempt"? Can I tell the difference?

For those of you who haven't seen me in a while, rest assured that I never forget key pieces of clothing. And I do bathe regularly. I even get all gussied up for special events. But within the realm of everyday social norms, what's good enough?

I suppose everyone has a different response, which is why none of us really knows the answer. So for now, I'm going to keep hoping that my husband and close friends would host an intervention (minus any "What Not To Wear" cameras) if I ever go too far. And I'll cling to the mantra verses for all us nerds who can't quite keep it all together:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. - Matthew 6:25-33