A Tough Week

It's hard to even call it that when I think of all the blessings that filled this week: sunny fall weather, colorful leaves, my soar throat clearing up, Josh not out-of-town, church activities, book club, playgroup, and of course my two beautiful boys -- among MANY MANY other things that make me grateful.

Perhaps that's why I feel like this week showed me my own flimsiness. I think I'm stronger than I am. I can handle crises. I can see the bright side. I can go without sleep and still be chipper.

Ah, but that last one bit me in the tail this week. Aaron had a fairly mild cold (runny nose, no fever) - just enough to make him want to nurse every 2 hours round-the-clock but not nap. No one else can feed him since he's so zealous about nursing - not that there was anyone around to help anyway (Josh is working the in-patient wards this month). Which left me at my wit's end Thursday after 3 days without 2 hours of sleep together. I actually went to bed that night at 8:12 in an attempt to regain some sanity.

Several factors are helping me feel hopeful today:
1. Aaron is feeling better and crying less.
2. Josh will be home this afternoon.
3. Going to bed early has helped.
4. On the advice of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, I've started putting Aaron to bed by 7pm and forcing him to nap for an hour 2-3 times/day. Miracle of miracles, it's working!
5. The boppy (in the crib) and swing (beside the crib) are my friends.

Thank God. Though I have a sneaking suspicion He's the one who designed this little breakdown for me in the first place. Self-reliance? Ha. Let's throw a runny nose at that one and see how fast she falls.

Not that I did anything bad, mind you. I just felt stretched to my limit, and not in a good way. Last week, a friend shared how she struggled to deal with her wit's-end moments. All she knew to do was cry out to God for help - literally. I remember thinking I hadn't had one of those moments lately (I have a very short memory), but I'm pretty sure that's not how I had reacted.

So God gave me a fresh opportunity. In the midst of all my blessings, even as I'm enjoying them, I have to realize that nothing else can give me the strength I need. Probably a good thing to learn the day before Josh leaves for a week.