"Home" for the Holidays

When I was growing up, my family went to the same house and did the same rituals for Thanksgiving year after year. The schedule, the drive, the food, the outings...It all bundled together to define "Thanksgiving" for me, and I treasured it. Then, when I was 16, it disappeared. My grandparents died, their house was sold, and Thanksgiving ceased to exist. It was heartbreaking, to say the least.

In contrast, I remember Christmas in various locations. Toronto, Chicago, Orlando, Philadelphia (home). We got to drive, fly, or ride the train with carols and lights everywhere and then celebrate for a few days with aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins we hadn't seen in months. One home laid trails of chocolates from each bedroom to the stockings on Christmas morning. Another was most likely to get snow and had a great hill for sledding. In each home, my brothers and I had a blast. Each Christmas was precious - the climax of a month of celebrating.

In the past few years, as Josh and I and our friends have started having families of our own, there's been a lot of talk about how we'll spend the holidays. There's also been a surprising emphasis on the importance of "staying home for Christmas." Almost daily, someone asks me when we're going to start staying home for the holiday. And it's gotten me thinking.

Honestly, for most of December, I was in rebellion against the idea. What if everyone stayed home? How or when would we see the many relatives we love who gather Christmas Eve and Christmas Day? Our little family is together every weekend of the year. Wouldn't it be anticlimatic to just be us four on these key days as well?

I can't help looking back and seeing that if all my relatives (including my parents) had insisted on staying home for Christmas, something precious would have been lost. What we would have gained in stability we would have lost in relationships, adaptability, excitement, and variety.

But before I get any hate mail, let me quickly interject that God got to me first. I couldn't understand the stay-home-for-Christmas perspective, so he made my on-the-road-for-Christmas less than perfect.

Our relatives were all sweet and wonderful, creating precious memories for us and our boys. Thankfully, God's tool of choice was entirely personal. I forgot the lessons of travels past and put Aaron in a position to wake and keep us up for hours each night. Furthermore, in my efforts to see everyone, I set up a schedule that required far too many transitions in a very short period of time. As a result, Josh and I were both exhausted, and I got sick Christmas night. Vomiting every few miles down I-65 is enough to make anyone dream of staying home for Christmas.

To top it all off, I was talking to my mom the other day about everyone's assumption we should stay home, and she replied, "That's why we always stayed home!"

WHAT!?

Turns out we stayed home for many years. My memories of all these great Christmas ventures probably took place when my brothers were teenagers and I was in elementary school - long after playpens and high chairs were needed.

All of this is not to say that we will or will not stay home for Christmas (clearly, I don't have that one figured out). But it has taught me a lesson I keep needing to relearn: life is full of seasons and stages, and the practices of one season do not necessarily apply to another. Christmases with babies are gonna look different than Christmases with teenagers, than Christmases with adult kids, than Christmases with grandkids... I need to stop trying to figure out how our Denny Family Christmas Tradition will look for all time, and just figure out what God is calling us to today. And maybe tomorrow.

Note: The fun Christmas pictures are coming - just not all edited yet.