Love Is A Choice

If last week God was reminding me that life is not about easy, this weekend He was hammering home that I need to appreciate the difficult.

I'm almost done reading Elizabeth Prentiss's classic Stepping Heavenward. In it, the heroine (Katy) finds herself suddenly forced to live with people who do not agree with or understand her. She grieves that they tempt her to sin, that they sully the atmosphere. She hopes and prays they will leave. Until she realizes that God has brought them into her home for a reason. They may need her, but more certainly, her character needs the refining they inadvertently provide.

Yesterday our Sunday school teacher talked about King David's selfless decision to love Mephibosheth, the only man who could rightfully challenge David's kingship, and a stranger who had every right to be bitter and jealous of David. In other words, David invited someone who could be very problematic for him to take up permanent residence in his house.

In both cases, it would be easy to focus on getting rid of these "problems." Katy could have campaigned to oust her unwanted relatives. David's followers would gladly have eliminated Mephibosheth (as they had other challengers to the throne). And the world would -- does -- tell me to cut out people I find difficult: If they don't make me feel good, I don't need them. I need to have boundaries. I need to protect myself. I need...

But frankly, I don't really know what I need, and I often don't like what's good for me. I'd rather try to fix you (who I can't control) than fix me (who I can).

Rachel Jankovic likes to say she was a much better Christian before she had children. What she means is that it was easier to act like a Christian before she had someone constantly testing her character, challenging her to grow, exposing the sin hidden in her heart. As our pastor said Sunday, if we want the character of Job, we need the experience of Job: "I can live a charmed and comfortable, cozy life, but it's going to cost me. I will be shallow, superficial, and self-centered. Character is formed--character is forged--through hardship." It is the difficulties that can soften, strengthen, and mold us to be more like Christ.

My life is cushy and my family is ridiculously easy to get along with, so I felt pretty good about myself when I first started thinking about this. Then I remembered the things that bug me, the pet peeves that fester, the issues that make me feel superior or condescending to others. I have a loooong way to go.

Rather than being dismissive or nagging, trying to conform others to my expectations, perhaps it's time I sat back and thought more about Why has God brought this person or issue into my life? What is He trying to teach me? What sin is it revealing in my heart? How does He want me to respond?

NOTE: I'm sure it's no coincidence that our pastor has recently preached on "God Loves Inappropriate People," "God Loves People Who Are Not Like Us" and today "God Loves Sufferers." Someday, I'll get the message... ;)