Crazytown

That's what the end-of-school is. The school year cruises along month after month without much need for mama's involvement except for the odd IEP or school party, AND THEN, just when you're starting to look forward to the lazy days of summer -- dun! dun! dun! -- the last 3 weeks hit. Jen Hatmaker wrote a classic post about it that literally made her famous. Which means if you're in my stage of life, you GET it.

But if you don't have school-age kids, it can sound cliche. Like we just want to sound busy to feel important. I mean really: Why so crazy?? TCAP is done. Summer's coming. ???

I recently had someone make the comment "What's one more kid?" and I totally understand what they meant. That is often true if the kids are playing in the backyard, or I'm making dinner for 6 vs 7.

BUT don't talk to me about "What's one more" during Crazytown.

I have several fun and positive posts in the works. I love my kids and our community and our school and teachers and motherhood. Just check out my Insta or FB feeds. Promise.

In fact, 95% of the following are good things. They bring adventure and relationship to me and my children. I'm happy to do them and thankful someone else is planning them for my children. The only thing worse than having to handle them on my end would be having to create these events in the first place.

So...WHY is this Crazytown? Why are all the school-age mamas running around with their babies melting down?

I'm stealing an hour from the million little details of this season to write this up because:

1. It's worth answering this question with cold, hard facts -- a taste of what mamas everywhere are juggling during the last few weeks of school, in no particular order. 
2. I don't want to forget what this feels like -- or underestimate it for others.
3. This season makes me feel like a total flake and seeing it written out helps me give myself grace.
4. I'm thinking it might do the same for someone else.

This is NOT comprehensive, because by "an hour" I mean I'll be interrupted momentarily. But hopefully it's enough so we all get the picture.

And if you're a teacher reading this, please, for the love of all that is holy and safe, don't send home that one extra note that asks just to bring that one extra thing in... We love you and appreciate you and could never do your jobs. Seriously. But that one more thing NOW? It just might do US in. Ask in October. Ask in February. Just do. not. ask. in. May. Let it go.

Because, this is what we're up to today...

1. Daily Folders -- Check each child's all-important folder, which is the sole repository of hard-copy communication between their entire daytime school life and their entire rest-of-their-life life. Assuming child brought it home. And to school. And home again. 😬 It may be the only way parents become aware of upcoming tryouts, tests, past assignments, teacher gift contributions, etc. The only link IF the child has bothered to change out the folder while at school.
2. Class E-newsletters -- Save these emails from their teachers (1-2/child/week), because inevitably you will have to search your email to find out What are you supposed to wear for this program? Is today special somehow? Did I order a sack lunch for this trip? When is that project due?
3. Coach and Team Emails -- Also 2/child/week updating game times, locations, snack schedules, team picture times, tournament standings, and new make-up game times. Sadly you can't just save these. You have to actually add games to your calendar and start rejiggering all your carpool and dinner plans (ha!) pronto.
4. Bike Day -- This requires sending the child out to the garage to find a helmet that still fits and bike that still fits (or the blessed scooter that requires 0 skill b/c child needs more bike-riding lessons) and has tires inflated, plus a handy water bottle, then labeling all with his name on masking tape. The morning of, he must be slathered in sunscreen (this will be a theme), delivered with all of the equipment to school, and later picked up with--if you're lucky--all of the equipment in tow.
5. Field Trip #1 -- First, ask your son for the all-important permission slip, sign and make sure it goes back in the folder with a check that will presumably make it from parent to folder to teacher to office. Then email your child's lunch order to the teacher, find out the dress code, and then make sure those items exist in his sizes in your home (latest: khaki pants and white button-down shirt). Pray they are clean and might survive the yellowing sunscreen and sweat of the trip. IF the parent actually wants to attend the field trip, then schedule and keep appointment for fingerprinting, allow 2 weeks for background check and approval as a volunteer, book a babysitter during a school-year weekday (ha!), and figure out where/when to meet the class. Plus pack yourself lunch & sunscreen, and prepare baby's day with sitter (transfer carseat, cash for outings, etc).
6. Field Trip #2 -- see 5. But replace khakis and white shirt with grade-and-year appropriate school t-shirt -- NOT brother's school t-shirt (different grade, different color) or last year's school t-shirt, but this year's, this grade's, this boy's t-shirt.
7. Field Trip #3 -- see 5. or 6. Repeat.
8. Field Day -- Find those same grade-and-year appropriate school t-shirts (times the number of siblings at this school) and clean them (again), slather sunscreen on everyone before school, find and label water bottles and hope they make it into backpacks -- and home again someday. If the parent wants to "stop by" for pics, she must remember 1) her ID to get in the school, 2) walking shoes because each child's class will be at the other end of the grounds when she does visit, 3) phone for snapping pics of only her child, and 4) the time slots when each of her children will be out under the sun (you can't knock them all out at once). Plus hats and sunscreen for self and younger sibs being dragged along.
9. Wax Museum -- Make sure child completed research and report on famous person, memorized their spiel, and has attempted to assemble a costume from the playroom bin or sports equipment. Notify spouse as soon as you discover "wax museum parent preview" in some written materials somewhere. Book babysitter if during sib's naptime OR carry fragile baby into bustling elementary classroom full of people in costume. #winning Capture on video/pics for anyone who missed it (i.e. dad).
10. Poetry Tea -- Find a carefully-chosen moment to ask your child if he memorized his poem and pray it doesn't lead to a melt-down or cram session with mama. Attempt to book weekday babysitter or once again bring fragile baby into busy classroom. Try to shower and change out of pajamas before attending and bringing some part of the nut-free, ingredient-listed, individually-wrapped snack for 25 kids plus parents.
11. Poetry Chapel -- Sigh with relief that this child has been practicing his poem nonstop and will finally get it d-o-n-e. Plan to stay after school drop-off for the performance but forget to tell spouse or grandparents. Attend with younger siblings in tow, video class performance, and send to all the relatives.
12. Talent Show -- Confirm that the child is passionately committed to performing in the talent show before reluctantly sending in the sign-up form by due date. Guide child in choosing recitation piece, practice with child, record video of practice to send in for approval by due date or instruct babysitter to record video and email to you so you can email it in for approval immediately after due date. Re-write part of recitation so it does not include the word "bullet" (naughty Shel Silverstein), practice with child with new wording. Book naptime babysitter for younger sibs, confirm talent show on spouse and grandparents' calendars (or write feverish text to invite them the day before), show up to sit through 30min of 1st and 2nd-grade talents before your child performs for 20 seconds. Record on phone and share with relatives.
13. Snack Mom -- On your previously assigned week, remember (when the teacher texts to ask you where they are) to buy and send 4 days of healthy, nut-free, individually-packaged snacks for 12 preschoolers. Realize your week includes May 4th and send pretzel-stick lightsabers that day, your one and only Pinterest win that makes you mom-of-the-year for a whole 10 minutes.
14. Preschool Graduation -- Take pic of wedding-style invitation and text to spouse and grandparents 2 weeks before. Make sure you and your child have clean white outfits that still fit and are almost the right season. Sign up and pay in advance for group childcare during ceremony. Bring younger sibling and diaper bag to childcare. Attend ceremony and take pics. Forget to take pics of student with teachers. Don't forget to pick up younger sibling afterward.
15. Spring Program -- Send text to spouse and grandparents inviting them. Put it on your calendar. Discover 3 days beforehand (in the latest teacher newsletter) that you had the time wrong: send correction to spouse/grands so everyone can rework their schedules. Send child to school in "church" clothes and hope that fits the instructions which you've forgotten. Show up on time with younger sib in tow and sit in the very back corner were there are still available seats. Grab zoomed-in pics of child walking up to stage, standing on stage while everyone else sings songs, and then walking back to their classroom.
16. Teacher Appreciation Week -- Review teachers' "favorites" lists to find/buy/make easy, inexpensive but personal and touching gifts that overlap on all the lists and can be sent on the bus with each child without being destroyed en route. Wrap all the gifts, distribute to the appropriate backpacks, and pray.
17. End of School-year Party -- Sign up to bring nut-free, healthy, ingredient-listed, individually-packaged snackfood for 15-30 kids. Reserve time on calendar, get cash so you can send in exact $ for communal lunch pizza, buy snack food you signed up to bring, bring it with you to end-of-the-year party along with fragile younger sibling, sunscreen, drinks for non-student guests (yourself, sib, spouse, grands) and a sack for all of the art and paper and "gifts" you'll be receiving at the end-of-year party. Don't forget to take pictures of each student with each teacher. Write it on your hand! Don't wipe forehead.
18. Team Party -- Debate what to make your family for dinner, knowing you'll be driving your child to and from the team party 30 minutes away, lasting 4:30-6:30pm, and knowing you'll end up with fast food to kill the time between drop-off and pick-up because by the time you get home around 7pm there will only be time for homework and bed. Call the school by 3pm to remind your child he's a car-rider today. Rush home after car pickup because your child rode the bus anyway, then check GPS to be sure it's still worth driving to the party. And grab cash from your emergency stash when you get there because you forgot they were ordering out.
19. Baseball Games -- Coordinate with blessed team parents how your children will get to practice 30minute before game time. Plan snacks, a to-go dinner, pack folding chairs, make coffee (yes you now drink coffee in late afternoon), assemble uniform pieces so the short interval between school and practice is not consumed by a frantic search and meltdown. With siblings in tow, go to and watch game while socializing with other (essential) team parents/friends and fielding requests from siblings for concessions. Don't forget to bring cash. And hats. And umbrellas. And diapers. And close-toed shoes. And your coffee. Then take it all home with you. Player included. Plan on pep talk afterward if his team lost. And lots of laundry. Red-dirt laundry.
20. Birthday Party -- For your family member, a classmate, a best friend, younameit -- SOMEONE has a birthday during these 3 weeks -- or 3 someones in our case -- and you must get a thoughtful gift, a card (which you write in) and remember to contact them on that day. And give them the gift. And RSVP. And take your child to the party and pick them up afterward if it's for a kid. Or prepare their favorite meal if it's in your household. Like your husband.
21. Mother's Day -- Because someone had a sense of humor when they planned it during Crazytown. So book babysitter and make restaurant reservations and contact family members in town to plan brunch celebration. Order gifts for out-of-town mother figures and make sure they're delivered in time. Call mothers and grandmothers that day. And buy yourself a few mother's day gifts because hubby is clueless. #homegoodsftw
22. Anniversary -- Because we were clueless when we set this date pre-marriage and pre-children. Block lunch date on hubby's calendar because dinner's just too much on the Tuesday before school ends.
23. Prepare for Vacay -- Because it's the Promised Land you're sprinting toward these last few weeks. Your entire family (yourself included) is counting down the days until school ends and everyone can rush out of town for a week before Memorial Day and the rest of the world descends on your favorite vacation spot. But that means the last weeks of school you're also assembling matching shirts (so you don't lose a child on the still-crowded vacay), sunscreen, hats, comfy shoes, food for the condo kitchen, tickets to the entertainment, airport transportation, bathing suits (sigh), coordination with accompanying relatives, etc.
24. Prepare for Summer -- Because after the vacay, you'll come home and 2 months stretch before you with a plethora of summer camps and babysitters already booked and full. So reserve all the tutoring and day camps and part-time sitters BEFORE you leave for vacay, i.e. during end-of-school.
25. Find Lost Textbook -- or order it on Amazon and work out schedule for child to pay you back...

There's the door! Boys are home. Off to the races...

And may your Crazytown be as full of blessings and grace as ours has been.