Wish I'd Known: Post-Op

Yesterday was the first adult surgery in our family. Aaron has had a tonsillectomy and Katherine had tubes put in, but do those even count? Half the population has had both. The recovery from a tonsillectomy is no joke, so maybe we could say that was our trial run. But this time, a parent is down for the count, though only temporarily, thank God. Here's the background and lessons I want to remember (and wish I'd thought to ask our many friends who've done this before!).

Hip at 42?

Two years ago, Josh tore his labrum playing with our kids. He saw an ortho who scared him into thinking he had arthritis and muttered the words "hip replacement." Josh fled to physical therapy, which was helpful to a degree, but never could fix the problem. So he decided to wait and hope time took care of it.

It didn't. Instead, he had continuous and increasing pain as the damage to the joint worsened. In August, Josh finally saw a specialist who would take a stab at a repair. The recovery is worse than a replacement (waiting for bone/tissue to heal vs getting used to titanium), but it preserves the hope that he might be able to run again AND avoid a 2nd replacement in 25 years. A new MRI looked even scarier, so they set a surgery date right away. Yesterday.

What We've Learned in 36 Hours

-- Caregiver, Go to the Doctor -- I wish I'd gone with Josh to his most recent appointment before the surgery. It didn't occur to me that he was receiving all the instructions but I would have to implement them while he was still recovering from anesthesia. I also didn't realize we'd need:

     at the hospital...

• warm, loose-fitting clothes for him to change into post-op (he was shivering from the anesthesia), 
• our minivan not sedan so it'd be easier for him to get in/out, 

     and at home...

• rails for our toilet, 
• a shower chair, 
• all the prescriptions,
• large bandaids, 
• hydrogen peroxide,
• 8oz water bottles to freeze,
• Gatorade, chicken soup, and other nausea-friendly foods (b/c anesthesia and pain meds),
• dinner (see "Clear the Evening"),
• a handicap placard for our car (note from doc that you take to the DMV),
• clear instructions from PT about how much time he'll need to take off work (2 weeks at home, 2 more weeks part-time), and
• a travel wheelchair (we have since borrowed from a friend).

-- Clear the Morning -- Expect an outpatient procedure to take the entire day. Josh's actual surgery was 11am-1pm but he arrived at 7:45am and we got home at 5pm. I wish I'd gone with Josh to check in that morning instead of staying to get the kids off to school. I missed lots of instructions, some were not repeated at the end, and Josh was not in a position to fill me in. 

-- Clear the Evening -- I also wish I'd gotten a sitter for that evening so I didn't arrive home with an invalid and have 4 children crawling all over us begging for attention and dinner. We were both already worn out from the day, overwhelmed by the post-op instructions, and afraid of injuring his freshly-fixed hip. We had a lot to get used to, like how to:

• get him up the 4 garage stairs, 
• walk down the hall, 
• go to the bathroom, 
• make the bed so the melting ice wouldn't soak through the mattress (shower curtain under beach towels),
• get into bed,
• keep his foot from turning out (tie it to the other foot), 
• set up the "game ready" compression/ice-water apparatus (and get a Friday-night replacement when it leaks), 
• figure out first-night meds, 
• etc.

It was quite a bit harder with a 2-year-old on my hip and 3 boys asking questions. Thank the Lord for our parents who picked up the supplies and Chinese food for dinner.

Close as they could get without
being ON his lap.💜

-- Clear the Week -- Expect the post-op care to be intense for several days, maybe a week or more. He needs someone to pick up all the prescriptions. He needs ice every 3 hours, pills every 4 hours, and the toilet...well, yeah. He can't get his own food or drinks or books or laptop or remotes or anything. At least not yet. And he can't drive himself to/from PT or follow-up appointments to check the wound or remove the sutures.

In my head, I figured Josh would pretty much take care of himself since he's an adult. Granted, now that he's lucid, he is handling most of his meds. But he still can't hop up and get something, or carry food from the kitchen, or bend over to pull up his pants. Not to mention take Noah to soccer, hold Katherine on his lap, put our boys to bed, or sit at the dinner table.

A friend asked if we'd need a meal calendar, and I had no idea. Now, I'd say yes to every day for a week, just to get past the worst of it and give us time to get used to all the new routines. A couple friends have also helped with rides for the kids to/from extracurriculars, which is much appreciated. 

It's amazing how many seeds we found
without leaving the house.

Fortunately, we knew this would all be new, that we didn't know what to expect, so we tried not to commit to much in Sept-Oct. But the annual fundraiser for my son's chronic condition only happens 1/year (today). I've been preparing to teach 1 Corinthians this Tuesday all summer (long before the surgery was scheduled). The 3rd grader still had to collect and label 20 seeds for school this weekend. And my 2-year-old suddenly decided she wants to join the potty party and get trained. #thatsanegative Life goes on. 

by Isaac Denny, age 6

And today--with all its crazy--was a pretty good day. Josh's appetite has come back. Noah had a good soccer game and Sonic. Aaron announced that he doesn't mind having NF. Katherine and I enjoyed a few good books on the toilet. Isaac recited a kindergarten poem about rainbows. A neighbor delivered Buca de Beppo. #score And I had a chance to write this up. With all I wish we'd known, our village has kept us from falling flat on our faces. 

Though it's only been about 36 hours... #3weeks6daystogo 🙏😆

So, what advice do you have for patients or caregivers going into outpatient surgery?
What tips do you have for us as recovery continues?