Have Fun! Part 2

(Confused? Check out Part 1 first.)

So why don't we play more?

Do not be anxious...Consider the lillies...
Matthew 6:25-34
photo by Katy Southern

I'm pretty sure a lot of parents are running scared. It's all over the news, podcasts, etc. Enrolling kids in tons of activities, worrying about mass shootings, scared the kids are sexting, afraid they won't be able to compete in a global economy, and apparently even cheating kids' way into college.

I believe it is driven by a media-fed sense that the world is more dangerous, more competitive, and more challenging to live in than ever before, so we have to be more vigilant and work harder than ever before.

It is not based on truth. Our kids' lives are not bound to be worse than ours. The global economy is not a zero-sum game. Culture is constantly twisting, evolving, swinging like a pendulum, pushing forward here while stepping back there, but it is not going To Hell in a Handbasket, as I discovered back in 2011 (my blog posts from that time at the previous link). I believe more than ever that it is critical for people to know this.

"By almost any measure, the world is better than it has ever been. People are living longer, healthier lives. Many nations that were aid recipients are now self-sufficient. You might think that such striking progress would be widely celebrated, but in fact, Melinda and I are struck by how many people think the world is getting worse. The belief that the world can’t solve extreme poverty and disease isn’t just mistaken. It is harmful. That’s why in this year’s letter we take apart some of the myths that slow down the work. The next time you hear these myths, we hope you will do the same." - Bill Gates, Annual Letter, 2014

When I processed these ideas 8 years ago, I was focused on how our view of global progress affects our charitable work (people only work on problems that feel fixable). Today, I'm more aware of how it affects our parenting, or you could say, how it affects our children.

Bottom line? Parenting from a place of optimism is not as unrealistic as I used to think. 

Good Fun
(or, A Theology of Play)

Even if I'm not running scared, my desires to recognize privilege, fight isolation and injustice, be financially responsible, train my children well, and work faithfully for the kingdom of God can keep us running. They can also make stopping to play seem indulgent or frivolous.

I am only now appreciating the importance of resisting the fear/guilt wave and protecting that time--moving play up from the bottom rung of the to-do list--not just because we need rest, but because we need to play.

Certainly, we can find joy alleviating the suffering of others and find contentment in the midst of difficult circumstances. And we do! I would never endorse a gospel that frames "the abundant life" as one requiring prosperity or all play with no work.

But I don't want to present Christian family life to our kids as dour, frenetic, duty-bound, uphill, marginalized, or desperate. I have several friends who assumed this was their fate when they became Christians. It was only after their conversion that they realized Christianity buttresses our reasons to play, see beauty, and have hope. It is the truest source of joy and optimism.

Perhaps the best gift my current church has given me is the awareness that God is so much bigger and better than my limited efforts anyway. He has not put the weight of the world on my shoulders. I don't have to panic. I can focus on what He has called me to do and trust Him to only give me what He has equipped me to handle (1 Cor 7:17, 10:13).

photo by Katy Southern

Turns out part of my calling is nurturing a culture of fun with my family -- injecting it into the everyday, carving out time for it, teaching my kids how to find it, and enjoying one another with humor, story, and food.

God established a day of rest AND feasts for remembering His provision. He also created the giraffe, the flamingo, and the snapdragon; clearly, He has a sense of humor. Jesus first used His miraculous powers to extend a party already in progress. Paul told the Philippians:

"Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

Russ Ramsey adds this in his essay on the value of including beauty in our diet:

I know that for me, the unrestricted access I have to everything that is wrong with the world can be a light so blinding that I lose the ability to see, or the capacity to empathize well, with the real and present struggles and sorrows of those in my own community. I don’t want to become a blind and numb media consumer with a three second attention span because my mind and eyes are continually feasting on a diet of evil, cynicism, scandal, and hot takes. 

What are my kids' minds and eyes feasting on when they are with me? If they only experience me disciplining them, criticizing them, taxiing them around, pointing out brokenness in the world, working, and generally managing our household, how will that affect their view of... the world? Christianity? God? me? their value? If it takes 9 compliments to offset any criticism, how many moments of love and joy do I provide to offset correction? And if I'm not modeling how to turn everyday tasks into enjoyable activities, how will they do it? Do you see where I'm going with this?

If not, hopefully you will tomorrow: Part 3.