County of Orange

Seriously, that's its technical name: County of Orange. And I'm still not clear why it's so famous; can you name any other famous counties? Yet this is where we found ourselves rather unexpectedly last weekend. Here's how...

Josh called Tuesday afternoon to say he was being asked to speak at a conference...in 3 days...in California...with me along for the ride.

This has never happened before. They could have offered me a weekend in MICHIGAN and I would've taken it. Southern California? Done.

I wish. By Thursday, I really wasn't sure if it would be worth it. Turns out I took Operations in b-school so I could make arrangements to go away for THREE WHOLE DAYS. #3boys #6sitters #6pagesofnotes #22guests #72hours #1millionmovingparts #bye-bye

"Just landed in Dallas and it is 25 degrees and snowing.
Snowing. When we finally get to San Diego
I expect to see pigs flying. Or a sharknado."

But with a village at my back, we flew to DFW Friday morning. This was my first time flying American Airlines with Josh since he's become an Up In The Air-style frequent flier, and it was oh so very lovely. There is an upside to all those weeks of him being gone, and it's spelled p-r-i-o-r-i-t-y. It smoothed out so many bumps in the trip. 

And there were some, like spending 8 hours in the plane, on the ground in Dallas with very little food (hence the many "flight delay" calls from the airline). Or a 4-hour layover in Charlotte after the red-eye (which was filled with babies crying #heartbreaking). We managed to spend 28 hours of our 75 hours in travel, but really it was all fine. Better than fine. And not just because of the VIP stuff. It was the fact that we had NO CHILDREN with us. We love the little guys beyond words, but this would have been a complete nightmare with them, and just knowing what could-have-been was enough to keep the silver linings ever in our minds.

"Going on hour #7 sitting in these seats, first waiting for the pilot, then waiting for de-icing. ‪#‎details‬ But I have my hubby, a good book, tea, and no children, so really there are worse places to be stuck." ‪#‎bright side‬

And the big whopping silver lining? A happy ending: We made it to San Diego before Saturday (by an hour), where it was 63 degrees and not snowing.

The conference was at Laguna Cliffs Marriott in Dana Point, CA, which is literally on top of cliffs overlooking the Pacific.

Saturday morning was our raison d'etre (in OC anyway): Josh's talk to med school deans about his research. It was the first time I've sat in to hear his stump speech live, and it was awesome, of course!

Who's that handsome guy up there, that sexy science guy? (Yeah, not the guy in the chair...)  ‪#‎groupieintheaudience‬ (me, not the guy in the chair, though he may be too)

That afternoon we drove up through Laguna Beach to Huntington Beach where we'd heard we should watch the sun set.

Huntington Beach surprised me - it is atmospheric, with large signs of industry (plants, cargo ships, an oil rig), a giant empty beach (unless you include the surfers in the water), and a massive pier with a steak-and-shake Ruby's diner at the end. It was moody and impressive and far more interesting than a sunny bit of sand. The black cherry milkshake at Ruby's didn't hurt either.

Sunday we started with a run around the harbor to earn our breakfast, including the largest biscuits-and-gravy I've ever seen (though sadly their size didn't make them taste any more like Grandma Merrill's).

Then we drove to the famous mission ca.1776 was not on a hill overlooking the Pacific as I unreasonably expected but tucked in the middle of town across from the Starbucks. Still, it is an oasis of CA history with a layout reminiscent of Oxford, CA-style. And this way I could get a chai tea too.

Lesser-known Mission Trivia, clockwise...TL: The famous looks-like-an-ugly-wasp-nest Sparrow homes (which can also be seen under Mack Hatcher).
TR: The scariest flowering plant I've ever met. Probably transplanted from The Secret Garden.
BR: No comment. ‪#‎noneneeded‬
BL: Turns out the native Americans had a food pyramid too! Theirs included "insect larvae" and "ground owls." Ours isn't sounding so bad...

#pros SoCal does have Starbucks that carry sandwiches and bento boxes (not to mention palm trees, Pacific Ocean, whatever), #cons But then we saw some house listings... 

Time to go home!

After a quick dinner with a bestie...💜

A Short Shirt Story

in pictures...

The Denny Boys

I just read a HuffPost article by empty-nesters admitting how much of life with their kids they have forgotten. Yikes! I already have a terrible memory. I'm sketchy on what Aaron was like at Isaac's age - and that was just 3 years ago! It almost feels like if I didn't record it, it didn't happen. Not true, of course. When I sat down to write "60 Reasons You're the Greatest Dad" for my Dad a few years ago, they spilled onto the page. I was shocked how many snapshots and traditions came back to me - especially considering they all occured before Instagram and FB were around to help capture them. So I'm motivated, but not panicked.

Still, to that end, here are a few (ok, A LOT of) notes I want to remember about our boys at their current ages. It's long, but you're not really the primary audience anyway. ;)

Note: I've debated whether to even post this or just hide it in their baby books. I've decided to post for now because, 

1. It's good stuff - no deep dark secrets, no shame, just real humans.
2. Only people who know us personally read this blog.
3. It'll help our friends and family know the boys better.
4. I'd love to hear from those of you who can relate or see similarities/differences with your kids. 
5. It takes a village. We are not raising these boys alone, and we can use all the informed help we can get! 
6. If I don't post it, I'll lose it. Literally.

So, to all of you AND to my 60-, 70-, and 80-year-old self...

NOAH, 7.5yrs

Top right is a mustache gone wrong. Bottom right is the Shaun White haircut gone right.

• Sweet - It is easy to be Noah's parent and friend - to get his hugs first thing in the morning, to share a knowing look across the kitchen, to trust him with responsibility, to comfort him when he's disappointed. We get along really well, but he is a carbon copy of his father, whom he adores. He is magnetically drawn to Josh - the only lap he still sits on regularly without being asked (Josh noted this dates back to when Noah was barely walking but would gravitate toward his lap at every meal; it's still true, though now Noah is hanging on the back of his chair or leaning against him with a football under one arm).

  

  At church on Daddy's lap

  Like his father, he is a sweetheart which makes his next trait a great strength rather than the liability it would be with a hard heart. 
• Moral - He is so eager to do what's right and follow the rules. We rarely have to discipline him because any instruction seems taken to heart. He is prompt - appearing downstairs at 7am every day and urging us out the door for any event. This awesome sense of morality, justice, and punctuality can lead him to be the proverbial "big brother" to others - especially his little brothers. Still, I am eternally grateful that this trait helps him make lots of good choices and trumps his devotion to friends when they are leading in the wrong direction.
• Competitive - This drive to do right also means he wants to be right and to win. Prizes are prized (though he was disappointed his football trophy wasn't real gold).

  

  "Gold" flag football trophy

  Practice is discouraging. Losing is crushing (=> crying). So far, he hasn't faced losing much as 1) most early sports leagues don't keep score, 2) his brothers aren't competitive opponents in games yet, 3) academics come naturally to him, and 4) his father cannot bring himself to beat him. ;) We expect this will change with time - a necessary but difficult process ahead. 
• Confident - Perhaps this explains why he has tremendous optimism about how well he can play any number of sports or other activities. After talking to his 10yr-old cousin one time, he came to me and said, "He has a skateboard, but he doesn't really use it. I told him I could teach him a few tricks on it."  I asked if he'd ever ridden a skateboard. He said, "No, but I've seen how to do them."
• Enthusiastic - Given the above two, this is not surprising. But his conversation is so mature that sometimes I'm startled by how excited he gets  about "pizza for dinner!" or "Logan's gonna be there!" or "I'm going to see Papa and Gigi!?"

  

  Baking with Gigi

  This endearing feature is dependent on him 1) being around people he knows well, and 2) not during a gloomy mood.
• Shy - Noah does not perform for or talk to strangers. He is generally not comfortable talking around adults unless it's about his current obsession (i.e. football), and we have to work to get him to look people in the eye and say his name clearly when he is being introduced.
• Moody - There is little question how Noah is feeling at any given time. He is bright, happy, and chatty, or gloomy, negative, and quiet. The latter is often when he hasn't eaten enough. He would still rather play than eat, and when he's gloomy (and needs food most) it's hardest to get him to eat. But once he does, the effect is direct and amazing.
• Devoted - He is currently obsessed with football - talking about it at every opportunity

  

  Halloween, #5 Teddy Bridgewater

  ("Who is the tallest player in the NFL? How tall is Adrian Peterson? Do you think Adrian Peterson is better than ____? Did he come from Oklahoma because that's where Teddy Bridgewater came from? How can you like the Seahawks when the Patriots are so much better? Who's your favorite defensive player? Have the Seahawks been good for a long time? I'm tired of them being in the Super Bowl. We're the only fans of the 49ers because most people are going for the Colts or the Titans, though the Titans aren't any good. They're the worst team in the NFL. They really need to get someone new; though I don't think they're going to get Peyton Manning. Do you remember when the Titans were good? They've never been as good as the Patriots. The Patriots have been good for a long time..." etc, etc, etc.) IF he is not discussing football, he's talking about video games: Madden Football (duh) and Minecraft (an odd phenomenon I have yet to understand - it seems to involve a lot of "digging").  (JOSH added: This aspect of these continuous conversations about a topic so reminds me of me. I used to talk forever about cars when... well, perhaps I still do. Payback - and one that I relish. When he was 6, the game was Star Wars Wii. We spent many hours playing--and beating--many of its levels.)
• Loyal - Ever since he first went to school, he has quickly formed deep friendships. When his first best friend moved away (at 3yrs old), we thought he would be a wreck, but he found a new friend right away - something he's done many times now. He diligently keeps up with these friends - and sometimes copies them (rooting for Auburn because Brady likes Auburn, asking to go by "DJ" because his friend's name is "CJ").
• Reading - It feels like a constant surprise to have a little reader in the house.
  
  We've started to let him stay up an extra 15min to read before bed. He can read to his brothers (though he tends to mumble so Aaron loses interest), and he's able to read my instructions when my voice is out (as it has been these last two weeks!!). His favorite books to read himself are the Magic Treehouse series. His favorite books for us to read to him are The Hardy Boys.
• Playing - Of course he loves to play football and will rope his brothers into a "game" (where he makes up all the rules) at any opportunity. He also wrestles with them, builds his own Lego inventions (detailed buildings & vehicles),
  and plays with Play-doh (imagining great battles between bits in his fingers around a mountain of the neon-red stuff). His favorite shows are Star Wars Rebels, Looney Tunes, Lego Yoda Chronicles, and Nature. 
• Perceptive - Noah doesn't miss a thing. It is remarkable how much he picks up on social cues, puns, looks between Josh and me, and conversations among adults.

  

  Modeling his blue ribbon for math

  If you want to keep a secret, you've got to be a very good actor around him. He will notice any slip-ups and he will figure out the secret before you can say "it's nothing." But if you tell him a secret, he will keep it and relish the confidence.
• Ambitious - Right now, he wants to play football in the NFL (God forbid). He loves math (Praise the Lord): he got an award this month for best math student in his class AND he was thrilled when his teacher gave him a math workbook to take home for free! He also loves strategy, science, and running. He does not seem to be scared by action/adventure so he is most likely to ask -- and be able to handle -- more mature activities and movies (though with 2 younger brothers, there's little opportunity).

AARON, 5.5yrs

"Let's say tomorrow is dress up day"... to Noah and Aaron's first Burger King Whooper Jr's while on a trip (N: "If I was a food critic, I'd say '5-stars for Burger King!").

• Affectionate - He actually asks for hugs and kisses from each of us, especially at bedtime (though sometimes from friends and neighbors, too).
  
  He wants to pray at dinner and bedtime every night ("Thank you for Mom, and Daddy, and Noah, and Isaac, and Gigi, and Papa, and pizza. In Jesus name, Amen."). He is good at recognizing if someone was "mean" or "hurt my feelings - that hurt my feelings" and doesn't even like to see it in books ("Matilda" by Roald Dahl or the original "Toy Story"). He loves to cuddle under a blanket on the couch in front of a movie or sit on our laps while we read him a book. 
• Selfless - Aaron looks for ways to help others - setting the table for us, cleaning up someone else's mess, etc. When I take Isaac up to bed, Aaron will search for one of Isaac's favorite toys and bring it up to him. He has always been willing to share--or even give away--toys or food at the least suggestion, and he will gladly comfort someone else who's upset (so long as it wasn't his fault they're upset). He can even be militantly helpful; every day he says, "I want to open his door!" before I go get Isaac up from nap (and if Noah beats him to it, a brief but brilliant melt-down ensues).
• Charming - Aaron wears his heart on his sleeve in a bubbly, social way that is very endearing.

  

  Making friends at Publix

  He genuinely cares about others and wants to brighten their day - and he does. From the stranger on the street to the checkout person at the grocery to the friend in his class, he will talk to anyone and they always end up smiling back at his sparkly blue eyes and contagious smile. This feature has convinced me that Aaron doesn't just look like my Dad. :)
• Pleasing - Like Noah, Aaron does not want to get in trouble, and I always hear good reports about him from teachers (actually, from all the staff at his school). He loves words of affirmation; if he does something well, he will say, "Give me a high-five, Mom!" or "You say thank you!" or "I did a good job!" or "I did it all by myself!" At home, he can be impulsive, so I hear a lot of "I forgot" when he breaks the rules; he still gets in trouble, but not usually for rebellion. He is also getting sensitive to any gaps in his knowledge, so he covers for them by being funny, highlighting his intelligence in other ways, or simply saying, "I already knew that" to something he could not possibly have known.
• Fun - Aaron is the life of the party in our house. He wears costumes continuously - and comes up with creative ways to get us to wear them too: "Tomorrow is Batman day! We all have to dress like Batman" or "That's knight food so we have to dress like knights and eat like knights!" (i.e. with our hands).
  
  He's always roping someone else into his schemes ("You put this sword in your belt and then..." or "You're the bad guy so fight me!" or "I'll chase you and then you go into there and..."). And lately, he's been coming up with plans to get what he wants, which he ends with, "Deal?" If you ask about his day, you never know what he will say except that it's likely to be a fun story and not true. He is especially silly now (he IS 5), so if he's trying to be distracting or funny, his conversation will devolve into the surreal, employing random use of the words "eyeballs" and "diaper." Basically, he has personality coming out his ears. ;)
• Theatrical - Aaron loves stories and he usually has one going in his head - always involving "good guys and bad guys." Walking from church to the car one night in the rain, it took him much longer to get there because he was busy jumping and dashing along and beside the sidewalk as he fought the bad guys and saved the day. 

  

  Elf Ninja

  His myriad facial expressions and gestures that go along with all these dramas may be one reason he's so fun to photograph... When watching a movie, he asks tons of questions (audibly, in the theater) to make sure he understands the story and to clarify who the "bad guy" is. He makes connections between various stories and characters he's encountered, and can recall details and lines from a movie he's seen months ago with remarkable memory. He has always loved knights, swords, and in the last year, superheroes (including his own invention, Laserman). His favorite shows are Peter Pan (whose costume he wears weekly if not daily), Hook, Batman (old TV cartoon), or whatever someone else wants to watch (He's the only member of our family that will say, "You choose."). 
• Appetite - Literally. He asks 10x/day, "Can I have something to eat?"

  

  Polishing off his Daddy's meatloaf

  He can sit at the table longest, because he eats more or because he eats at his own pace. And he will try anything. His favorite foods are fruit yogurt, cereal, salami, pears, and whatever I'm eating. I am already bracing myself for his teenage appetite. It's also true figuratively. No matter how many times we tell him, "You don't always get what you want," Aaron continues to expect what he wants, now. He is good at waiting if we tell him when he will get it, but he has a hard time with not getting it. This is usually what gets him in trouble. (Yeah, me too, bro.)
• Independent - Aaron is his own man. He goes at his own pace, learns his own way, and follows his own interests. Unlike Isaac who's always looking to see what/how his older brothers are doing, Aaron has never seemed to care too much about following someone else's lead - or reacting to it. I don't generally see him trying to copy Noah or trying to do the opposite of Noah; He just does his own thing. I'd love to take credit for this, but it's always been there, innate. I pray often that he keeps some of his nonconformity, though I'll admit it can be frustrating when you are trying to rush him out the door!
• Leader - I hadn't realized this until I wrote the last bullet point. But it's true. Aaron is not concerned with following, and he's often taking the lead, trying to get his playmates (or parents) to play their role in his larger-than-life stories.
  Even at 3, he would give us verbal scripts to follow: I say ____, you say ____, then I say ____. He often sounds like a movie director when playing with friends. One big source of sibling tension comes from someone not following his direction. Now he's starting to sound like me at 5! 

ISAAC, 2.5yrs

Naturally, Isaac is the hardest to define because so much of personality these first 3 years is tied up in developmental stages. Still, here are a few things we want to remember about who he is right now...

• Independent - From what I hear, the youngest is either aspirational/independent or lets the older ones do everything for him. Isaac is the former: "I do it!" He was playing well with little legos when he turned 2, he rarely rides in a stroller, and he has a knack for figuring things out quickly, even when they're difficult for him at first (like buckling his carseat, drinking from a water bottle, or eating with a fork). He also plays really well on his own--probably thrilled to finally have all the toys to himself! When the big boys are home, he watches them like a hawk and follows suit.

  

  Left: Playing like Aaron. Right: "Reading" like Noah.

  After the big yellow school buses come pick them up, he alerts me when "Bus here! My bus here me!" (i.e. my friend pulls up in her minivan to take him to preschool). (JOSH: More than our other two, he will also repeat just about anything you say as he tries to learn it.) His favorite phrase is "____ to the rescue!" (originally from the book, Firefighters to the Rescue, but now applied to anyone or anything) and he loves to sing "Jingle Bells."5
• Mama's boy - Like his brothers, he will outgrow this soon, so I'm relishing these last few months when he thinks I hung the moon. He does run to greet Daddy when he gets home from work; he asks where Daddy is every day; and he lets Daddy put him to bed.
  
  He's also great buddies with his Papa. But he's still attached to me in that fleeting baby way that compensates for all the meltdowns. He is my little buddy on errands and to Bible study while the big boys are at school. And if someone else is in my arms or lap, he stands at my feet with his arms up in the air begging, "Hold you! Hold you!" irresistibly. When I'm putting him to bed, if I start to sing another song, he'll whisper to me, "No, Jesus! Jesus! Sing Jesus!" for "Jesus Loves Me." 
• Coy - My mom was just here and we both used the same word at the same time to describe Isaac's MO when someone notices him: he was born knowing how to be coy.
  
  He acts shy, ducking his head or turning away from whoever's talking to him, leaning into my shoulder or behind my legs - but his eyes are peeking out and he's smiling an impish grin. It's adorable, enticing, and reserved all at once.
• Sleeping - Isaac loves the bedtime routine, including me reading to him (Firefighters to the Rescue! Mickey's Trucks, and Beauty and the Beast--go figure), him turning on the noise machine and off the light, and us singing "Jesus Loves Me" together, which still melts me.
  
  He chooses a particular toy each night to take to bed, but he insists on removing all the others. I can hear Isaac talking from his crib occasionally during the night, but we almost never have to go in before morning. This year has been hard on his nap schedule since he gets a 1-hour nap at school Mon/Wed; it means he skips nap or takes a long one. Either way, he can be a pill afterward until dinner -- a cuddly pill, which can be fun, but a fragile one, too, which is not fun.
• Opinionated - He is 2, so this could almost go unsaid. He wants to ride in the grocery cart; he doesn't want to ride in the grocery cart. He doesn't want a waffle; HE WANTS A WAFFLE! He doesn't want the waffle cut. He cannot eat the waffle. He wants the waffle cut in slices BUT NOT BITES! Many of his opinions concern possession, as in "Me Legos mine!" but almost all of his sentences have the subject at the end: 
• "Waffle me!" = I want a waffle! 
• "Note me" = I want milk.
• "Note" being his current word for "milk," a vast improvement over its predecessor, "No," which resulted in many "Who's on first?" conversations... 

• Him: No me.
• Poor innocent babysitter: What do you want?
• Him: No.
• Her: Do you want milk?
• Him: No.
• Her: Do you want food?
• Him: No! No me!

• Fearful - This sounds like a terrible thing to say, but it's really not - I just can't think of a better adjective. He's a normal 2; it's just that he's our first to show any sensitivity to scary stuff.
  
  He crawls up my shoulder to get away from the Chick-fil-A cow (or any other full-body costume characters) and he hides his face when he expects something scary on TV--including the movie Frozen (for reasons we cannot guess)--saying "Hurt me! Hurt me! No! Off!" (and of course we turn it off). In this, he takes after me all the way, poor guy. It means his favorite shows are those without villains: Curious George, Clifford, and Mickey Mouse.
• Congested but Healthy - It's January of his first year in preschool = he is always getting over one virus or another. Miraculously only 1 stomach bug and a couple fevers, but lots of snot. This would explain why I've had back-to-back colds and little-to-no voice for the past 2 weeks (AH!).
  
   It also explains his only trip to the ER on Dec 30th at 11pm for croup. Still, somehow he's managed to avoid ever having an ear infection or strep. Though now that I've written it for all to read, we're bound to get both in the next week. ;)

Together
Collectively, the boys all love to wrestle (pile on top of each other, repeat), to run the "track" through our kitchen/diningroom/familyroom, and to "watch a movie" (or "watch a nuvie" - Isaac). They say I'm the best cook ever (and then they don't eat what I've made...). They are reasonably trustworthy so far, staying within the limits we set for them i.e. not climbing up to the medicine cabinet, not leaving the property when they're playing outside, and not trying to sneak screen time, etc. (Though after I wrote the previous sentence, I took A&I to the grocery and lost them for a four horrible minutes...) Noah and Aaron ask to go back to Disney World at least weekly, if not daily. And they're really excited about Game Night (Connect Four, Hungry Hippos, Candy Land, Monopoly Jr, and Disney Scene It) tonight! A few shots from the last month or so to wrap it all up...

Seeing Blind Spots

For a little over a year now, I feel like the scales have gradually been falling away from my eyes, revealing particular injustices around me. Not that I've had any illusions that the world is fair, or that injustice happens on the grand scale, but that I'd failed to see its systematic presence in my own little sphere, in my community.

I grew up with certain narratives that explained how the world works. I initially thought adolescence was the classic stage for testing those narratives to determine their truth. But instead, I found adolescence was only the beginning of figuring out who I am. Adulthood seems to be the actual, lifelong stage for figuring out this crazy, complicated world.

Evidenced by the fact that I'm still overturning my own preconceptions in my late 30's - and now realize it won't be the last time I have to change my mind about something important, trading my assumptions for the truth (part of what the church calls "sanctification").

I think of these moments as tectonic shifts, mental earthquakes, because at first I resist the change. God has to present the same "new" idea to me from many angles and sources until I finally dive in to research it more fully (usually a 6-9 month process that requires an open mind and primary sources from each perspective -- not one source telling me what all the others say). When eventually the evidence tilts overwhelmingly in one direction...and I've had time to process it...I'll start to make the mental leap. It is scary and exciting, and followed by after-shocks as I discover all the ripple effects of the new-to-me landscape. Over time (years), this new aspect of my worldview settles in, even as it continues to be refined and incorporated. Ultimately, it is always liberating, because I land on far safer/stronger ground than I began (John 8:32).

This process seems particularly important for those of us who grew up as an American protestant in the late 20th century. Folks like James Dobson, John MacArthur, and the Christian Coalition appeared to assemble a long list of beliefs about the world that constituted what it meant to be a true Christian. Compared to the creeds of past generations which could be stated in a few lines (the Nicene Creed or Apostles Creed - even the Westminster Confession is relatively short), this list was extensive, including support for the death penalty, opposition to gun control, support for states' rights, criticism of welfare, glorification of the American dream, anti-affirmative action, disbelief in global warming, and enumerating exactly how the world began (ala Ken Ham) and will end (Left Behind). It was the Republican party platform of the 1980s-1990s plus some.

Which is not to say they were wrong about everything - just that they were certain about far too much. Where the Bible offers so much room for mystery and paradox and disagreement, this worldview I absorbed was black. and. white. I arrived at college honestly trying to find a democrat who was a Christian so I could figure out how those two identities could possibly fit together (which to be clear, seems absurd to me now).  

In hindsight, it is not surprising that this certainty about everything (modernism) gave birth to a generation that was uncertain about everything (post-modernism). Once you discover that one plank in your platform is not the whole truth, you wind up doubting all the planks.

And that brings us back to my own little walk of faith and all its earthquakes. Adulthood has been a process of testing plank after plank against special and general revelation (again, sanctification), confirming some, discarding others. I've alluded to a few of them briefly on this blog, from confirming the logic of Christianity to realizing the world is not getting worse to embracing the scientific community and confirming again and again that the Bible is trustworthy...

...To this year, discovering the pride and injustice in my own heart. This latest journey began when I read Americanah by Chimamanda Adichie over a year ago. Adichie's winsome novel was like a trojan horse, attacking my latent preconceptions unawares. Her two main characters are an educated Nigerian woman and man who immigrate to the US and UK (respectively) and then return to Nigeria. These international transitions allow us to "experience" (vicariously) how race, ethnicity, and culture impact the main characters and how their views of both countries shift over time. Their experiences were eye-opening for me. They brought to light errors in "conventional wisdom" that I hadn't really examined, but which have since been pummeled by many articles like this one, statistics, this podcast, a friend's perspective, and most recently the discussion around Ferguson, MO, including:

Commentary on #Ferguson by Ben Watson

Why Ferguson Must Lead to Change

#Ferguson: A Gospel Issue
When Whites Just Don't Get It

How could I have thought that racism had been overcome? Or that the struggles facing modern African Americans were not the result of centuries of the worst kind of oppression and abuse? How did I not see the evil of stereotypes -- or the evil of the pride that takes credit for privilege?

It seems so obvious to me now that I have not earned the benefit of the doubt when I interact with strangers so much as I have been given it by my lucky demographics. I haven't earned my financial security so much as I was graced with a generous environment that cultivated that security. The list goes on - probably even further than I have yet discovered.

And that, really, is the point. Being willing to discover. To re-examine assumptions, to consider other viewpoints, to change my mind. Because the only thing scarier than replacing old assumptions with the truth is never examining the old assumptions at all.

ACK, The Second 1/2

Wondering where we are? See ACK, The First 1/2.

After the dark and brooding storms of the day before, Thanksgiving morning dawned cool, clear, and gorgeous. Taking advantage of a houseful of babysitters, Josh and I went for a walk to the ocean with my aunt and cousin. If I hadn't known it was MA, I would have said we were on the British moors - brown rolling hills with wind-swept scrub brush and a cool breeze.

This may be the moment to say that when it comes to climate, I am a (New) Englander through-and-through. It was a joy to my soul to be back in the NE. If we didn't love Nashville so much, I would not put up with all its humidity and overdone sunshine. Will I ever give up hoping for more snow? No, I don't think so.

But back to ACK... When we were packing for the trip, Josh convinced me to bring my sneakers so "you can go outside and play football." #delusional But I'll admit he was right to bring them -- for our walk to the beach. He was also right that some members of our family would want to go out and play football...

And after football, it was back to the beach with the big boys and my parents...

Finally, it was time to get ready for THE BIG DINNER. Aaron had been asking for weeks, "Is it Thanksgiving? Today? Now?" Yes, dear. Now!

And did the dinner deliver. Oy.

Stuffed, we all went to bed for a few last hours of rest. Then it was out the door to try for the ferry. This time, we rolled right on at 6am...

Our detour on the way back was a stop in Concord, where my parents lived while I was in college. The boys were very impressed with its snow, so we let them have a snowball fight in the town square:

And snacked on the best teacakes this side of the Atlantic:

Last, the airport, which is its own little party really. #lollipops #reading #laptops #airplanes #trucks #BurgerKing #buses #beverageservice #fun Even after all these years, the excitement of air travel hasn't completely worn off, and I love seeing it afresh in my kids.

Though it pales in comparison to their excitement over the next month: Christmas!!!