Trick or Treat...

But who could ever not treat this guy? Fortunately, he has not developed a sweet tooth yet as he hands out thousands of pieces of candy tonight with a smile on his face. This picture was during a Halloween party with friends. Unfortunately I (Josh) was in Las Vegas; however, I hear it was the Animal Farm (Tigger, Pooh, and a monkey) vs. a football team. Fortunately, it was a Vandy football team, so victory was ours.

Progress Report - Part 2

I think I've learned an important lesson: never say, "more tomorrow" when you have a baby in the house. Life just isn't that predictable. Thus, in my week-late follow-up to last week's post, here are a few more mini-milestones from Noah's last month:

1. The Tube Strikes Again -- As if the reach of TV's influence were not already great enough, it's going after the infant market. We've caught Noah watching TV twice. Both times, he was not oriented toward the TV but had craned his neck back to get a view, and he was fixated. Needless to say, both experiences came to an abrupt end as soon as Mom discovered his interest. We're going to hold out on introducing that particular vice as long as possible...

2. I Still See You! -- While he still doesn't have peripheral vision, if you cross his line of site, he'll turn his head to follow your movements -- even through windows. Daddy looked like quite the odd tennis player when he tested this on the court the other day, moving side-to-side steadily further from Noah's carrier. His range seems to be about 20 feet!

3. Where's Mama? -- We played peek-a-boo today, and it was the first time he seemed to respond when I magically appeared. Not sure if it's just cause he likes seeing a smiling face or if he actually thought it was fun, but I'll take either.

4. Patty-cake -- While Daddy teaches him to fly and make noises, Mom is busy turning the little man into a "baker's man," and I'm proud to say he loves it! In fact, I think it was the inspiration for...

5. His First Laugh -- Daddy was holding Noah on his lap while I played with him. Between the two of us, Noah found something amusing (let's hope that continues) and started laughing. He's been smiling and cooing for weeks, but we decided this crossed the line to an official chuckle, and it was music to our ears.

6. I'm Hungry! -- He's "talking" up a storm and now he'll tell me--with increasing emphasis--when he's hungry before he actually starts to cry. I usually have about 10minutes warning before the meltdown begins. No problem, so long as we're not stuck on the interstate...

And to think that this is just the beginning...

A Progress Report - part 1

Two months ago, I thought "milestones" were crawling, walking, and talking. Child development specialists talked about things like "motor skills," but I never guessed that I could notice weekly--let alone daily--progress in Noah's development.

I'm so glad to be wrong. It's incredible the itsy steps that gradually turn a newborn into a baby. For example, a few of the latest details we've noticed in Noah from weeks 7-9:

1. I Feel Good About My Neck -- Ever thought how tired your neck gets holding your head up? Me neither, until we instituted "tummy time" at the urging of our pediatrician. It's about 10 minutes/day devoted to proving the he can lift his head off the floor. Not sure Dr. Hain really meant for us to get down there with him, but maybe Daddy needs some tummy time, too?

2. I Just Can't Take It Anymore -- A dazed expression, red eyes, and yawns have lately been joined by another universal sign of fatigue: rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

3. Mine! -- Ok, so maybe he doesn't completely understand the nuances of property ownership, but he has started grabbing things with his little fists -- blankets and my hair seem to be the favorites of late. Good thing my fabulous new earrings aren't dangles.

4. Gum, Here I Come -- I don't even know how to blow bubbles, but somehow he manages to produce enough on his lips that I wondered for a moment if he was foaming at the mouth. Thank God, it seems he was just having a little too much fun drooling.

More tomorrow...

My Own Little Milestone

There have been moments since we first found out we were pregnant when I have felt too young to be a mom. If the last few weeks have not cured me of that delusion, nothing will. Josh has done an excellent job of reminding me again and again that I am, indeed, 30 years old. Fortunately, his reminders have come in the form of dinners out, fabulous earrings, and--this past weekend--a surprise party, so I’m not about to complain.

Maybe it’s because I have no reason to complain that this milestone hasn’t fazed me. I love my family, friends, church, job, and home. I feel so incredibly blessed beyond my desserts.

I’ve been thinking lately that if going back to work next month doesn’t put us over the edge, I want to be even more intentional about sharing my blessings through service. I just have to figure out who and where. Maybe that can be the climax to marking my 30th year? Nah. Nothing can compete with this little guy…

Fresh Advice from a Fellow Rookie

Just in the last week, I've talked to 2 pregnant women in our small group, 2 at Josh's work, 2 at my work, and that's just who I can think of right now. So, to celebrate Noah's 8-week birthday, I thought I'd pass along the tips I've found most valuable over the past weeks, while I still remember them (you know what they say about nursing leaking brain cells).

1. The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer -- I've read a lot of books about infant care, but Tracy Hogg's my favorite. After reading her book on infants and her book on toddlers, I really feel like I've been better able to read Noah's body language and respond in ways that nurture our relationship while laying good groundwork for the future (though I have yet to see if that proves true). I'm tempted to expound, but that would be silly, since you can just read this book!

2. "Normal" is much broader than it appears. Doctors and books can make it sound like your infant will eat 4oz every 3 hours for 30 minutes and poop after each feeding. Noah eats 2-5oz every 2-5 hours for 8-20 minutes and poops from time to time. Since his irregularity scared me, I talked to a lot of moms (including our pediatrician) and I quickly discovered that a baby's habits have to be pretty extreme to cause problems (indicated by their weight), and even then, those problems are usually easy to address/reverse. So don't sweat it. Your baby will get what s/he needs. S/he won't starve or pop from not pooping. Relax and follow his/her lead.

3. Pumping takes time to ramp up. The first time I pumped, I got 2oz in about 2 minutes. The second time, I got 0.5oz in 5 minutes. Gradually, by pumping at the same time every day, I've been able to get about 2oz at a time. After 4 weeks of pumping, I'm able to get 2oz after I feed Noah in the morning and about 2oz after his last feeding at night. However, if you're having trouble getting enough, try pumping some (maybe 1oz) before you feed the baby, since the baby is more likely to be able to get every last drop out of you than a machine. Eventually your supply will increase and you'll be able to pump after feedings (though sometimes I still pump a little before because I've found it's hard for Noah to latch on when I'm really full).

4. Diapers leak. Even in this high-tech age, we still have not perfected the art of “containment.” You can’t prevent leakage--we’ve tried several brands--so just make sure to take extra diapers, wipes, and clothes wherever you go.

5. Pre-fab baby books and digital cameras are the bomb. The books tell you exactly what to write, where, and when so you don’t have to be creative on 5 hours of sleep. And the cameras allow you to take as many pictures as you want every day. We store the pics on our computer in folders by date and back them up on CD. That way, I never feel guilty that I should be spending hours on scrapbooks to capture memories of Noah’s development. (Don’t get me wrong. Scrapbooks are gorgeous for those who enjoy making them. But there are alternatives for those of us who don’t.)

6. Start as you mean to go on – sort-of. I do think we have avoided some chronic problems by not establishing certain bad habits early. For example, Noah was sleeping in his crib by day 5, and we didn’t make a habit of rocking or nursing him to sleep. Both have been huge blessings, because now when I see he’s ready for a nap or bedtime, I can just take him into the nursery, lay him in his crib (awake), and leave. He’s content to fall asleep on his own. That said, there’s nothing better than holding him against my chest in our big, comfy rocking chair as he slumbers. I’ve decided (also with the advice of more experienced moms) that it’s ok to do that sometimes. I think the key is to enjoy those special moments when we break from the usual routine but not let them become the routine. It’s the essence of grace-based parenting (the subject a future post, so stay tuned).

7. Take naps whenever you can. Everyone told me to do it, but it takes a lot of discipline to actually go to bed in the middle of the day. The temptation to clean, straighten, read, write, call, etc is almost overwhelming. Yet, I’ve found that the tenor of these first precious months with our child is heavily impacted by how many naps I’ve squeezed in. In fact, I think I’ll follow my own advice right now.

‘Night.

Reality Check

Over the last 7 weeks since Noah’s birth, a lot of people have been asking me questions – sweet, thoughtful questions that I’ve appreciated: Do I like being home? How radically has being a parent changed my lifestyle? Am I exhausted? How am I coping? Do I ever have time for myself? All of these questions are sympathetic and often relevant. Next time you see me, you’re welcome to ask me if I ever get a nap. In fact, you’re welcome to babysit so that I can catch some shut-eye.

At the same time, such questions have highlighted a train of thought that’s been slowly gathering steam in my brain since Noah’s birth. In a nutshell: Life with a child is so much better than I ever imagined. Here’s why…

What I imagined wasn’t pretty:

• Society spends an inordinate amount of time telling us that children are troublemakers – on TV, in movies, in books, etc.
• While we were pregnant, I asked a lot of people what it’s like to have kids, and the most popular answers referenced how inconvenient they can be (lack of sleep, lack of freedom, etc).
• Most of the time, when I’ve heard people talk about “stay-at-home-moms,” it’s been in terms of how hard they work and how underappreciated they are.
• The above points naturally set my expectations pretty low.

Now the disclaimers:

• I realize that I’ve only been doing this for 7 weeks. Perhaps I’m still in the honeymoon phase.
• Noah is an angel. If he were crying inconsolably for 3 hours every night, would I be all aglow? Probably not.
• I only have one, and he’s nursing and immobile, giving me some time to read, walk, cook, and write this blog, among other things.
• I have an incredible partner who makes me feel aided and appreciated. He even sends me out for pedicures every month. (Yes, seriously.)

I just have to say:

• Having a son has opened up a softness in my heart that I didn’t know existed. It reminds me of the feelings I have for Josh, but it has a different, complementary luster that makes our family of three even more precious to me.
• Even when Noah is crying, there’s something precious about being able to comfort him. When he was in the womb, my biggest frustration was not being able to show him the love I was beginning to feel. Now, I can slather him with it, and it’s such a privilege.
• I admire Josh all the more as I see him fathering our little boy. We still have dates. We still eat dinner together every night and talk about what we did that day. I don’t feel like our marriage has suffered, and I see definite evidence that it has an added depth.
• My days are full of things I love to do, from feeding and changing and comforting Noah to dishes and laundry and writing and reading and walking and meeting friends. Noah doesn’t take away from “my time” – in fact, I have more of it than I ever had working full-time. And, I enjoy the time with Noah just as much as “my time.” He’s sleeping right now and I miss him. I think I may just go take a peak in his room…

A friend was recently telling me how much it bothered her to see society applaud those who leave their families and responsibilities in order to “find happiness” (think Eat Pray Love or Into the Wild), as if happiness were an object hidden in some distant land and not an attitude of the heart. I can’t help feeling sorry for those who think they have to be independent in order to find happiness. For me, it’s been my responsibilities—my marriage, my son, my job, my church, etc.—that have brought the greatest joy. Noah has been a wonderful, tangible, even surprising reminder of that.

Over the Hills and Through the Woods

...to Grandmother's house we went! This past weekend, we made our first trek up to visit family in Louisville, and we learned a few things in the process:

1. Noah likes people, thank the Lord. He'd be hard-put to stay isolated in this family, so we were thrilled to see him smiling and cooing and generally expressing himself to the new faces who were passing him around.

2. It takes a small army to travel with one 12-pound person whose most exciting activity is "itsy-bitsy spider."

3. A moving car is still a magic carpet to dreamland. He slept the whole way both directions (3.5 hours each). This is fabulous when you want a peaceful car-ride. Not so fabulous when he sleeps 5-8:30pm and then you want him to go to sleep for the night at 9pm...

4. Speaking of night, do roadtrips make you hungry? I never thought of them that way, but apparently Noah has needed more round-the-clock sustenance since our excursion. Yep, we were back to 5 hours between feedings until last night, when we got to 6 hours.

5. Perhaps all that excitement from the trip not only explains his midnight snack-attacks but also the fact that he officially found his thumb Sunday night. He still enjoys the whole hand, but an occassional thumb treat seems to suit -- and is mighty adorable, if I do say so myself.