About ten years ago, I remember watching Notting Hill and thinking how much I would love to be famous. It was a passing fancy, but the momentary urge to have the admiration and fortune of a Julia Roberts was strong enough that I remember it still.
Then, at some point along the way, I read a magazine article about Drew Barrymore's life and had an epiphany...
I have a loving, functional family, true friends, a comfortable home, decent career opportunities, and the ability to go and do with relative anonymity. No one cares that I forget makeup and wear off-brand clothes. No one is faking friendship with me to get...anything. No one is scrutinizing my career, the birthday parties we throw for our boys, the number of pounds I've lost post-baby, or my imperfect walk with God, let alone on national TV.
The epiphany? I bet, given the choice, Drew Barrymore would trade places with me. I could be wrong, but the number of celebrities who use alcohol/drugs vs. the number in happy, life-long marriages would suggest otherwise.
Still, this truth didn't become a conviction for me until I started working in the entertainment business (politics, then publishing) and meeting celebrities. My celebrities were not people you've probably heard of, but they have thousands of followers who want to be their best friends, who expect them to ooze wisdom and humor, and who keep them important to their handlers. And these facts, combined with their odd schedules, unusual social circles, and personal idiosyncrasies, often make them a different breed.
I recently asked a friend what it was like to meet the hosts of a national radio talk show, and she said, they're real people, just like everybody else.
Don't count on it. I'm betting they hear a lot more lies than I do, they rarely make new friends, and they're far more conscious of appearance in every choice they make - by necessity.
Some can handle that confluence of circumstances with humility and common sense. Some use it for good. Many cannot and do not.
So why the rant? I'm currently reading Counterfeit Gods, a great book by Tim Keller in which he talks about the idols we worship - the things we make more important than God. I have plenty of my own to topple, but since it's easier to talk about other peoples' problems...
I've been struck lately by how much our society is infatuated with the pursuit of fame. Reality TV. Celebrity mags. Speaking tours. Even blogs. The groping, strategizing, schmoozing, and ogling is...baffling when I think about the lifestyles celebrities have to endure.
So what is the attraction? Why did I momentarily want to be Julia Roberts? I think we believe fame brings power. The power to earn money easily and the power to tell people what to do. And it does. But like so many idols, it only advertises the benefits. The loss of freedom, trust, confidence, and security stay hidden until the person is all alone "at the top."
Ironically, most stories promote the illusion. When was the last time you saw a movie or novel with an ordinary, middle-class mother represented as a happy, fulfilled woman? They've always given up on their dreams, settled for mediocrity. On the other hand, how many movies solve the heroine's problems by making her rich or famous? Even Cinderella had to become a princess to escape her penury.
I'm not about to say that all celebrities are doomed or that I won't have another change of heart in the next ten years. But I will say that God has very graciously taken away some of my ambition in the past decade, allowing me to more fully enjoy who I am and where I am.
Which means that regardless of what Drew would do, I wouldn't trade places with her for all the fame or money in the world.
Hmmm. This is an interesting post and while I agree with you on most of it, I hit a wall when you said that stories further this problem. I do think it's sad the way our society values fame and I think it's symptomatic of how we, as sinful people, take God's blessings for us and turn them into something else. We take an inborn need to worship and turn that Godly urge on earthly fame. We take a gift of dance as a means to worship God and use it to worship our own bodies. We take the gift of song and sing about things that kill our souls, instead of nourish them. And on and on. I think this is consistent with your point.
ReplyDeleteBut I think stories that offer "an ordinary, middle-class mother represented as a happy, fulfilled woman" miss part of the point. The point to me, in much of life, lies in the tension. Few of us, however fulfilled, don't have moments riddled with pain, where we cry out to God and ask, "Why?" So I think stories that show characters without this tension tell us there is something wrong with us. I do think that stories that offer happily ever after tend to further our perversion of God's best for us - because they encourage us to be satisfied with less than his best for us. They tell us that romantic love, or children, or a nice house, etc. will fulfill our souls. And, clearly, they won't.
Sorry for the long comment, but I've been thinking about how easily satisfied we are with less than God's best, so this post triggered some of those thoughts!
I like this. Very wise words.
ReplyDelete"Don't count on it. I'm betting they hear a lot more lies than I do, they rarely make new friends, and they're far more conscious of appearance in every choice they make - by necessity. Some can handle that confluence of circumstances with humility and common sense. Some use it for good. Many cannot and do not."
"I think we believe fame brings power. The power to earn money easily and the power to tell people what to do. And it does. But like so many idols, it only advertises the benefits. The loss of freedom, trust, confidence, and security stay hidden until the person is all alone "at the top."