Ready

I woke at 2:27am this morning with a low back ache and cramps. I was still half asleep, but I remember looking at the clock. At some point thereafter my hazy brain started to whir. This was how labor had started with Noah: previously painless braxton hicks contractions joined with aches/pain at increasing strength and frequency until...well...it became unbearable...and then fantastic (once he was OUT). So I rolled over, repositioned my nest of pillows, and swung in and out of sleep, half dreaming about what the next twelve hours would look like if I started having contractions.

It was so tempting to wake Josh. I wanted it to be real. I wanted it to finally be HERE. I had a contraction around 3:45am and waited, hoping for another within 15min. Nada. By 4:15am, I knew I had to get up, snap out of this dreamlike state of confusion, and figure out what was going on. So I got a snack and sat at my computer, knowing that if this was for real, the achiness would persist. To my disappointment, it didn't.

But in the meantime, I confirmed what I had already suspected: I'm ready. People ask me all the time, but now I really know. I can't wait for this little boy to come. The nursery is ready. We've bought what we need - and most of what we want. Noah is comfy in his big boy room and routines. And I am ready for the next challenge - for another person to love and care for and figure out - for something of significance to demand a few more hours of my day (and brain). To meet him. The list goes on. I'm just ready.

That said, don't hold your breath. Since Noah was three days late, I'm convinced this guy will be too. I may be ready, but it seems that's not quite enough. I'll let you know when he is.